


Crossing Wires

by melancholyMisfit



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:37:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholyMisfit/pseuds/melancholyMisfit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat has grown tired of his roommate's multiple sex partners visiting their dorm at all hours of the day and night. Not that he has much time to worry about such things while he's trying to get close to the girl he has a crush, keep Gamzee from falling apart, and keep from failing his classes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is Karkat Vantas and man do you really hate your roommate. He’s really into computers and is always leaving cords stretched across the room. It’s impossible not to trip over them in your just woken haze and he always yells at you for it. It ends in an argument every time and leaves you more exhausted than you were when you initially woke up. He’s also a sarcastic smartass who picks at every little thing you do. You find yourself wanting to smack him around and maybe injure him a bit on a daily basis. Possibly the worst part is all the partners he has coming to the room. Men and women, he doesn’t care. He’ll fuck anything alive and consenting. You’ve found yourself crashing on the floors and couches of friends on more than one occasion just to avoid his sexual escapades.

Take now for instance, it’s four in the afternoon, classes are over for the day and all you want to do is head back to your room. Ideally you’d like to change and kick back on your bed for a bit. Somehow you ended up with no homework tonight and you could really use the break and some relaxation in your own room. Of course when you get there his uniform tie is hanging on the door and voices can be heard very clearly on the other side. You sigh out a frustrated growl and slam your fist on the door.

“Mother fuck, Captor! Put your damn pants on long enough for me to grab a change of clothes!” You yell through the door.

You hear a rustling from inside the room followed by footsteps. The door swings open and a girl stumbles out, her blonde hair a mess, her uniform in disarray and a goofy grin on her face. She leans against the doorframe for a moment, weak in the knees, and you can’t help thinking she looks familiar but you’re not sure why.

“You’ve got a really great roommate.” She sighs out before staggering down the hall.

You grimace and enter your room, slamming the door. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, in nothing but boxers, cleaning the lenses of his glasses. You ignore him and go to your closet, removing your blazer and tie as you cross the room.

“Sorry about that. We were in the same room for Sex Ed. As soon as they started talking about sexual desires she couldn’t keep her hands off me. The only logical thing to do was bring her back here and give her a little lesson of my own.” You don’t look at him but you know he’s smirking.

You hate the sound of his voice. God that stupid lisp. You hate it. Something like that wouldn’t have bothered you in the past; you’ve never been enough of a douche to hate someone for a speech impediment. But coming from him it disgusts you. On more than one occasion you’ve had to hold yourself back from stuffing your thumbs in this mouth to show him where his tongue should rest when saying his Ss. You’ve already changed your shirt and are kicking off your pants to trade them out for jeans when you hear a low whistle behind you.

“Shit KK, I’ve never really appreciated what a nice ass you have.”

“Do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up for two seconds until I can get out of here.” You grumble through clenched teeth.

He chuckles and you can hear the creak of the springs in his bed as he stands. You’ve pulled on your jeans and have grabbed your phone and hoodie. You’re double checking to make sure you have everything when he comes to stand behind you and grabs two handfuls of your ass. You jump and yelp in surprise, pulling away and whirling to face him.  
“Don’t fucking touch me!” You bark.

“Just testing to see if they’re as firm as they look.” He grins.

“You want to find out if a black eye hurts as bad as it looks too? Tell you what, I’ll even give you two to keep up with your stupid duality kink.”

He lets out a loud laugh, tossing his head back. Angry and tired you choose to leave before you really do end up hitting him. You rip open the door to find Terezi standing on the other side, hand raised as if she’d been about to knock.

“Hey there Karkles.” She grins. “Want to join Vriska and me for a movie in our dorm?” She asks.

“Anything is better than staying here.” You mumble, exiting the room past Terezi.

“Hey TZ.” Sollux nods ignoring the fact that she can’t actually see the movement.

“Hey Sollux. How’s living with this idiot?” She teases, smacking her hand down on your shoulder. It’s eerie how she always knows exactly where you are.

“Would be better if he wasn’t such a prude.”

“Excuse me for not sleeping with the entire school like you.” You snap. “Let’s go Terezi.”

She waves goodbye and the two of you head down the hall toward the handicap elevator. She bumps your arm while you wait for the doors to open. You glance at her and ignore the way she’s smiling at you. Or…past you really. But it’s directed at you.

“So you still haven’t slept with him, hm?” She asks.

“Shut up Terezi.”

She snickers and steps onto the elevator as soon as the doors are opened. You follow her in and press the button for the bottom floor. She’s surprisingly quiet until you get to her room. You close the door behind you and mumble a greeting to Vriska. She’s emptying a bag of microwave popcorn into a plastic bowl, the TV idling on the title screen for the movie. You sit on the edge of Terezi’s bed accepting the can of pop she hands you. She plops down next to you, resting her cane against her nightstand.

“After our last talk I’m surprised you haven’t at least given it some thought.” She says. Yea ok, you hadn’t really been expecting her to leave it alone.

“Drop it.” You growl, popping open your can.

“What are we not dropping to save Karkat his pride today?” Vriska asks, wheeling her desk chair over and taking a seat.

“The fact that he very obviously wants to bed Sollux.” Terezi responds with a grin.

“What? You mean you haven’t yet? What are you waiting for?”

“I’m not talking about this.” You say in vain. The odds of them leaving it be are very slim now.

“You don’t have to have sex with him you know. But I do advice you at least let him give you head. He’s really great with his tongue you know.”

You choke on the mouthful of pop you were trying to swallow. “How the hell would you know?”

“Oh please are you really surprised that I’ve slept with him?” Vriska asks with a chuckle.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“My night with Sollux was before John. But don’t change the subject. Aren’t you attracted to him at all?”

“The only thing I want to do with that idiot is pound him into the ground.”

“Funny, I expected you to be the one being pounded into the ground.”

Terezi cackles and you squirm down into your hoodie to hide the blush that’s creeping up your cheeks. “You know damn well that’s not what I meant!” You snap. “Aren’t we supposed to be watching a movie?”

Vriska grabs the remote and thankfully pushes play. They’re quiet during the movie aside from occasional commentary on the plot and characters. Being with Terezi has always been relaxing. You’d dated her for a few months when you were both thirteen. It hadn’t ended well but somehow you’d managed to hang on to your friendship. You were grateful for that. You’ve always loved her. As a friend, sister or lover you were never really sure but you knew for a fact that you couldn’t live without her.

When it came to Vriska you aren’t really sure how to feel. She was never one of your better friends but on occasion you’d had pleasing conversations. She’d actually been there a lot during your breakup with Terezi and had played a major part in patching things up. She’s Terezi’s best friend, always has been as far as you know, and the dragon obsessed girl trusted her more than anyone else. That had frustrated you when you were together but now that you were older you really admired that kind of friendship. You find yourself wishing that you had a friend like that. Sure, Gamzee was an alright friend and you liked to spend time with him but he wasn’t exactly all there. Meaningful conversations were impossible to share with him. You really should widen your circle of friends. Most became close to their roommates but that obviously wasn’t happening for you.

When the movies over the three of you head to the mess hall for dinner. It’s crowded and noisy giving you an almost instant headache. You hate eating with the rest of the school but at least it was better than being in your room. Once a week you and some friends would drive into town and eat at one of the local restaurants. Unfortunately none of you had the funds to do that tonight so here you were in the mess hall. At least it was only the boarding students here for dinner. It’s much worse at lunch when the day students are there clogging up the tables and food line as well. After you’ve each grabbed a tray of food you search the room for the table your friends are occupying. It was easy enough to spot the tangled curly mess that was Gamzee’s hair. You sat next to him, Tavros on his other side. Vriska playfully, or at least you think it was meant to be playful, punched Tav’s arm as she passed to sit on the other side next to John. He glared at John who replied with a smirk. You don’t know the full story there other than Vriska and Tavros used to date and, while he seems to be over her, he hates John for swooping in and stealing her attention.

Gamzee’s arm loops around Tavros’s shoulders momentarily distracting him and bringing a light flush to caramel colored cheeks. You’ve known for a while now that Gamzee has a thing for the other boy. It seemed the only person who didn’t know was Tavros but you’re pretty sure he was just playing oblivious. You glance around the table and notice that someone is missing.

“Where’s Kanaya?” You ask, taking a bite from your dry roast beef sandwich.

“She’s eating dinner at her girlfriend’s place tonight.” John answers, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

You roll your eyes. Why everyone is so interested in the sex lives of others you’ll never understand. “What about your sister?”

“Who knows? I haven’t seen her all day.”

As if summoned by your question Jade appeared practically bouncing over to your table with a tray of food. She took the remaining seat next to John and immediately turned her smile to you.

“What’s wrong Karkat? You look grumpier than usual.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” You respond, turning your eyes to your tray.

“He’s sexually frustrated.” Vriska ignores your glare and continues. “We were just discussing earlier how he really needs to just fuck Sollux already so the rest of us can get some peace.”

Jade giggles and you try to shrink into yourself. There is someone you like, someone you wouldn’t mind getting close to and that someone is definitely not Sollux Captor. Your ideal mate is a short girl with green eyes and curly black hair. She wears glasses, has a slight over bite and...is Jade. Your dream girl is Jade but she’s never going to notice how you feel about her so there’s no point in dwelling on it. Still you’d prefer not to be embarrassed in front of her or have her believing you’ve got the hots for some douche. You realize you’ve been staring at her when Gamzee bumps your shoulder and you turn your eyes to see his dopey smile. His arm is no longer around Tavros who seems to have forgotten Gamzee is even there. You don’t know what would be worse, the person you’re in love with not knowing how you felt or knowing but pretending they don’t. Gamzee acts like nothing bothers him but you know that deep down behind that mask of face paint and goofy attitude he’s got all the same feelings as the rest of the world. Sure you’ve never actually seen those feelings but you know they’re there.

After dinner you beg your friends for a place to stay but tonight is one of the times the night monitors comes to every room to make sure everyone is in the correct bed. And only one student per bed luckily so at least you know Sollux will be alone when you get back to your room. Kanaya is safe because she will have gotten an overnight away pass that she’d come back with tomorrow signed by Rose’s mom. You go back to the junior dorm building with Terezi, Vriska and Tavros while John and Gamzee head to the senior building and Jade goes alone to the sophomore building. There’s a comfortable silence between you and Tav as you accompany him on the handicap elevator to the second floor. You’ve never really been friends but he’s an ok guy and Gamzee likes him. If he ever decides to return his feelings odds are you’re going to spend a lot of time with him anyway.  
You say goodnight as he wheels down the hall in the opposite direction and you’re left alone in front of your door. It’s silent on the other side. Maybe he’s gone to bed already, at least there’s no tie on the door. You unlock the door and go inside to find him at his desk tapping away at his keyboard. He’s got his headphones in and doesn’t notice you right away. In these moments you can’t help thinking that he looks like a normal kid rather than a constantly horny promiscuous asshole. He becomes aware of your presence when you close the door and kick off your shoes. He pulls out one ear bud and rotates in his chair to face you.

“Hey KK.” For once there’s no teasing sarcastic tone to his voice. He just sounds tired.

“Hey.” You mumble in response, digging in your drawer for a pair of pajama pants. Typically you’d sleep in boxers but you’d prefer not to after he’d groped your ass earlier.

“Did you have fun watching the movie with TZ and VK?” He asks, glancing back at his computer screen.

“Yea I guess.”

He’s silent for a moment and seemingly distracted. Having found a pair of pants to sleep in, you take advantage of his attention being elsewhere to change quickly. He only turns back to you when you plop down on your bed with an audible squeak.

“Going to bed already?”

“Yep. I’m tired.” You don’t look at him as your remove your hoodie and throw it to the foot of your bed.

“Well, goodnight.” He says as he turns his back to you and puts his headphone back in.

You sigh. Ok, maybe he wasn’t necessarily being an ass right now. Maybe you could be friends with him if you spoke to him during these moments. Or at least reach an understanding with him so he’ll stop bringing so many sex buddies to your room.

“Hey.” You say, but of course he doesn’t hear you. “Hey, Sollux.” You call out a bit louder.

He whips around in his chair and pulls out both headphones, surprise written all over his face. “Yea?”

You lie down and cover yourself with your blankets. “Goodnight.” You mumble under your breath. He lets out a quiet breathy chuckle before going back to his work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey I wrote another chapter.  
> Alright. I fixed the typos and two bits that contradicted each other. All should be good now.

When you woke this morning Sollux was already gone. It’s Thursday so you haven’t had any classes with him and he wasn’t in the mess hall for lunch. Typically you see him a few times a day chatting with a possible romantic partner. It’d be refreshing to go without seeing him if you weren’t convinced he was back in your room with someone. It wouldn’t even bother you so much if you didn’t share the room with him. It’s not like you care what he does. You don’t even like him. He’s a tool and a jerk and totally not worth your time. 

To your delight everyone was off the topic of your relationship with your roommate today. You were certain Vriska and Terezi were going to tease you again but they were more concerned about Tavros. He was an easy target for bullies. In the past you wouldn’t have wanted to mess with him. He’s tall (not taller than Gamzee but taller than most of you), pretty decently built and incredibly strong. Everyone jokes about him being like a bull. The septum ring doesn’t really help much either. He used to play football until he was in an accident that paralyzed him. You’re not really sure about the details but you know Vriska was somehow involved. Either way, now that he was in the chair others felt they could pick on him without consequences. Unless Aradia was around of course. It killed his confidence. He’d always been a little on the timid side (which was pretty amusing given his size) bit it’d gotten worse since the accident. Apparently some seniors decided it would be funny to put his back wheels over one of the bumper blocks in the parking lot. Vriska and John had found him after fifth period and rescued him. They’d been trying to get names out of him all day but he wouldn’t tell. As bad as you feel for the guy you’re grateful it had turned the attention away from you. 

You’ve just left your last class of the day and are looking forward to your night of bad movies and junk food with Gamzee. You’re hoping your room is empty (or at least void of any sex partners) so you can change out of your uniform without hassle. You’re nearing the junior building when you hear someone calling your name.

“Karkat! Wait up a sec.”

You turn to see Jade running toward you with a death grip on an armful of books. As she gets close you can see that they’re not text books or novels but books on robotics. Her glasses have slid down her nose and you want to reach out and fix them for her. Instead you shove your hands in your pockets to prevent yourself from doing anything awkward. She fixes them herself when she’s stopped in front of you.

“I’ve been looking for you! I have a request of sorts.”

“Sure, what is it?” Normally you wouldn’t be so willing to do a favor for someone else. Especially if you weren’t getting anything out of it. But this was Jade.

“Have you ever heard of organized robot fighting?” It takes you a moment to process what she’s said. She looks unbearably cute right now with her hair tousled from the wind and a toothy grin directed at you. “Karkat?”

“Oh, uh, no. I’ve never heard of it. What is it?”

“Basically you get a team together, build a robot and then put it in a ring to fight against other robots! It’s really amazing and fun to watch. Our robotics club hasn’t ever competed but this year we’re going to give it a shot! We’ve already started designing the robot but we’ve still got to build it and get it approved for fighting.”

“Where do I fall into this?”

“Well, we need five members on our team and we only have four. My cousin was going to be number five but because it’s the junior league and he’s over age nineteen he’s too old. He just supervises us now. So I guess what I’m asking is…would you be our fifth member? You wouldn’t have to do anything other than show up to meetings and the matches.”

“When are the meetings?”

“Fridays at five in the science building. Room 413.”

“And I wouldn’t have to build the robot or anything?”

“Nope! You’d just need to know the basics in case they ask you anything at the qualifying match.”

A chance to spend time with Jade and help her out? Like you really need to think about this at all. “Alright. I guess I’ll join.”

She bounces and squeals before throwing her free arm around your shoulders in a half hug. “Thank you so much Karkat! I can’t tell you how much this means to me! To the entire team!”

“No problem.” You hug her loosely and awkwardly, glad that for the moment she can’t see your blush.

She pulls away and glances down at her watch. “Jeez, I’m running late right now but I’ll see you tomorrow at 5! Don’t forget!” She calls over her shoulder as she dashes toward the sophomore dorms.

You’ve never had much of an interest in robots or engineering but if you don’t have to do much it won’t be a problem. Plus you get to hang out with Jade and remind her of how cool you are for joining the team just to help her out. Maybe she’ll finally swoon for you and realize you’re the perfect match for her. Or maybe she’ll just thank you and give you a platonic kiss on the cheek. Either is ok you guess as long as you get to spend some time with her. You developed a crush on her when you were a freshman. You’d just met John and he’d invited you to come over during spring break to play video games with him. That’s when you met Jade. She’d been with her friend Nepeta who kept giving you weird looks. Actually she still gives you weird looks when you see her and she calls you by the unwanted nickname “Karkitty”. You’d thought Jade was cute immediately but you don’t make a move on your bro’s little half sister. Luckily everyone seems to be oblivious to your feelings for the adorable girl.

When you get to your dorm it’s surprisingly empty. Even if he’s alone you can usually find Captor at one of his computers clacking away at his keyboard. It almost worries you a little that you haven’t seen him all day but you shake it off. Why should you be worried? He’s probably off making out with someone. Or maybe he was finally caught by a teacher and hauled off to the principal’s office. After you change you start to head over to the senior building. This building isn’t much different than the junior building. The girls are on the first floor, the boys on the second floor. You see Tavros up ahead of you and call after him. He stops and spins around in his chair.

“Hey Karkat, uh, what are you doing over here?” He asks wheeling to meet you half way down the hall.

“Bad movie night with Gamzee. You?”

“Oh, I wanted to return John’s hoodie.” He gestured to the dark blue hoodie that sat folded on his lap. “He lent it to me earlier.”

“I thought you hated each other.”

“Heh well, I guess we changed our minds.”

There’s a light flush on his cheeks but you think nothing of it. “Do you want to join us for movies afterward?”

He’s turned back in the direction of the elevator and you find yourself pushing his chair for him.

“Nah I’ve got some studying to do. Thanks though.”

You’ve reached the elevator and are waiting for it to open when you hear a door to your left open. Out of curiosity you glance over in time to see Sollux exit the room. The same blonde from yesterday hugs him and kisses him on the cheek.

“Text me if you need me.” She winks as he turns to leave.

He’s got a goofy grin on his face that makes your chest feel tight. You’d be lying if you said he didn’t have a nice smile but for some reason it pisses you off and you want to smack that grin right off his face. He slows when he sees you. You’ve looked away and are focusing on the elevator doors.

“Hey TV.” He says, nodding at the boy in the chair. “KK.”

“Hi Sollux.” Tavros responds. You choose to ignore him.

“What are you two doing in the senior building?”

“Could ask you the same thing.” You snap. You don’t really know why you snap but it’s out before you can stop it.

“Visiting an acquaintance of mine. We were having a very in depth feelings jam.”

“All day?”

“You noticed I was missing? Aw KK you do care.”

“Fuck you. I don’t give a damn what you do with your time.”

The elevator doors open and you wheel Tavros inside and stab the second floor button harder than necessary. The doors close leaving a smirking Sollux alone in the hallway. You sigh and lean against the back wall of the elevator. Tavros looks at you over his shoulder with concern on his face.

“You two don’t really good along, do you?”

“Why would we? That guy is a douche.”

“Why don’t you request a new roommate?”

“I did. No one was willing to trade. I guess I’m not the only one who hates him.”

Tavros was silent for the rest of the short ride. When the doors open you wheel him out before saying your goodbyes and walking in the opposite direction. Gamzee’s door is unlocked and slightly ajar when you get there. He’s sitting on the floor with a bottle of Faygo hanging loosely in his hand. He smiles at you when you walk in.

“Hey Karbro, what are you doing here?” He asks, his eyes half closed and blood shot.

“We’re supposed to watch movies. Did you seriously forget?” You’re still wound up because of Sollux and are trying not to take it out on Gamzee but it’s difficult.

“Nah bro I didn’t forget. Except I don’t think I have any movies.” He looks around the room with a confused look on his face.

You sigh and plop down on his bed. “Why do you always do this?”

“Do what brother?”

“This. Every time you’re having an episode I’m there to help you out but when I need some bro time to just chill and watch movies you never come through. You do this every time we have plans.”

He doesn’t say anything and when you glance over the edge of the bed you find he’s fallen asleep. Of course. You drop a blanket over him and leave. Where are you supposed to go now? You don’t want to go back to your dorm after that run in with Sollux. Luckily as you’re sulking you hear Tavros’s voice down the hall. He’s leaving John’s room saying his goodbyes. He sees you and gives you a questioning look.

“Gamzee fell asleep.” You sigh.

“Ah that’s, uh, too bad.”

You shrug. “I was wondering, you don’t have a roommate right?”

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Do you mind if I crash in your dorm tonight?”

“Oh, uh, I guess not. That’d be ok.”

“Thanks.” You hadn’t realized just how tired you were until the relief of having a place to sleep washes over you. You two chat and joke around on your way back to the junior dorms. He heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth and tells you to make yourself at home. They gave him a single room so he could get around easily but there was still a roll out cot in the closet. You set it up and are lying down by the time he gets back. You say goodnight and fall into a dreamless sleep.

 

Friday morning it takes you a minute to remember where you are and why your legs feel so uncomfortable. As your eyes come into focus you remember the night before and realize your legs feel so uncomfortable because you’d slept in your jeans. You’re not as angry as you were yesterday but you’re still a little upset. At Sollux, at Gamzee, at yourself for being upset with them. You’re preparing for a day of self loathing and bad moods when you remember what today is. It’s Friday. Today is the meeting of the robotics club. You get to spend two hours with Jade.

You thank Tavros for sharing his room and put away the cot before rushing down the hall to your room to change. Sollux is still asleep when you get there. Class will be starting in forty minutes. If he doesn’t get up now he’ll be late. But why should you care? You go about your business changing into your uniform and combing through your messy hair. You run to the bathroom to brush your teeth and when you get back he’s still not awake. You’ve got about thirty-five minutes now and you start to feel guilty. You stand by the edge of his bed and try to think of the best way to wake him.

“Captor.” You say in a raised voice. He groans but doesn’t get up. “You’re going to be late for class. Get up.”

He peeks open one eye before putting on a pitiful face. “I don’t feel good.” He whines.

“You probably got mono from one of the sleazy people you hook up with.”

“Come here.” He motions with a limp hand for you to come closer completely ignoring the jab at him.

With a grimace set in place you crouch down next to his bed. You think he’s going to be completely lame and recite some death scene from a shitty movie but instead he surprises you. He springs up looking completely healthy and plants a wet kiss on your unsuspecting cheek.

“Morning sunshine.” He teases while throwing the covers off his legs and getting up like nothing’s wrong.

Anger swells inside of you as you stand and swipe at your cheek. You grab your backpack and head to the door. “Fuck you.” You mumble before stomping out into the hall and slamming the door behind you.

 

For the most part your day is uneventful. You’re given a group assignment in history and end up in a group with Terezi and Kanaya. At lunch Gamzee talks about a dream he had about you. Apparently he didn’t realize you were ever actually there. Figures. You avoid Sollux for the majority of the day only seeing him during your math class. You refuse to look at him but you catch a smirk as he walks past you to his seat intentionally bumping your shoulder. You think of Jade and try to calm your rising anger. By the end of the day you’re too excited to care about Sollux or Gamzee or anything else for that matter. Classes end just after three so you kill the two hours before the club meeting by doing your homework in the library with Terezi and Kanaya. You discuss what to do for your history project and when you check the time again it’s ten to five and you decide it’s time to go. You say your goodbyes and all but run to the science building. 

When you get to the room Jade is already there with an older male version of herself. He kind of looks like a more muscular John. The family resemblance is just really strong in their family you guess. A blonde kid with pointy sunglasses is sitting next to him and you don’t notice at first that their hands are intertwined on top of the table. The last member of the group is probably the most muscular guy you’ve ever seen in your entire life. How you managed to miss him walking around campus you will never know. Jade grins and hops down from her stool.

“Karkat! You came!” She exclaims flinging her arms around your shoulders. She grabs your hand and drags you over to the table. “This is Karkat. He’s going to help us out so our team can qualify!”

You study each of their faces as they stare back at you. The blonde kid has a blank look on his face and you’re not even sure if he’s looking at you behind those really lame glasses. Jake, you’re assuming he’s Jake, is smiling at you and the other guy is looking at the table dabbing at his sweaty forehead with a towel.

“So you’re Karkat, eh? I’m Jake. We really appreciate you taking the time to help us out! Jade here says good things about you.” He says, holding his free hand out.

His hand envelopes yours as you shake.

“That’s Dirk, he’s Jake’s boyfriend.” She whispers the last part in your ear but it was kind of obvious from the second you walked into the room. “And he’s Equius.”

Equius…why does that name sound so familiar? “Oh hey, you’re that football guy right?” You ask.

“I am.” He says without looking at you.

“So, there are only five of us here. I thought you said Jake didn’t qualify as a team member.” You say, turning to Jade.

“Roxy’s our fifth member. She can’t make it today. You’ll probably meet her next week.” She responds.

You nod and take the empty seat next to Jade. They start off the meeting by showing you what they have so far of their robot. It’s mostly a pile of parts that make no sense to you at this point. Dirk shows you the blueprints and how the robot should look when it’s done. They explain all of the extra features including an electromagnet that can be flipped on and off remotely to hold the opponent in place while it’s pummeled. All in all it sounds pretty cool. It’s when they get into the technical talk that you get lost. You try to listen and follow along as best as you can. Jade whispers simplified explanations to you every few minutes. It helps a little but you’re still confused for the most part. By the end of the meeting you’ve exchanged phone numbers with Dirk and Jake. Equius leaves immediately so you don’t really get the chance to say anything to him.

You’re walking with Jade towards the dorms when a boy that looks just like Dirk appears down the path. In fact you would have thought Dirk rinsed the gel out of his hair and switched out his shades had he not been walking behind you. Jade skipped toward him and hugged him. You felt a pang of jealousy that only grew worse when she stood on her toes and kissed him. When the rest of you approached the Dirk lookalike, with his arm still around Jade’s waist, gave Dirk a fist bump and called him ‘bro’.

“Who’s the new kid?” He asked while possibly looking at you. Again, it was really hard to tell with the glasses in the way.

“That’s Karkat. Remember? I told you he was going to help us out.”

“Oh right. Hey.”

“Hi.” You mumble.

“Karkat this is Dave, my boyfriend.” Jade is all smiles but inside you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach.

“Uh…nice to meet you.” you manage. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ve got plans. See you guys next Friday.”

You wave over your shoulder as you walk away. You barely hear their goodbyes through your heart pounding in your ears. You don’t remember the rest of the walk to your dorm but somehow you’re there with your keys in the lock. You close the door behind you and immediately collapse on your bed.

Sollux swivels around in his chair. “How’d the meeting go?”

“Bleh.” You respond, the noise muffled by your comforter.

“That bad?”

“The meeting was fine. It was after the meeting that sucked.” You’re about to say more when something occurs to you. When did you tell him about the club? You sit up and look at him. “How did you know about the meeting?”

“Vriska and Terezi.”

“Of course.” You flop back again and sigh.

“So are you going to tell me?”

“Why would I?”

“Roommates code. Anything you tell me will never leave this room.”

“Yea right.”

“Do you really have any reason not to trust me?”

“No but I don’t really have a reason to trust you either.”

“Fair enough. Still, telling me might help.”

You have a brief battle with yourself over whether or not to tell him and end up blurting it out. “Jade has a boyfriend.”

“Yea, that Dave kid.”

“How did you know?”

“I know his sister.”

“Of course you do.”

“You still like her? I figured that crush would have died by now.”

“Shut up and just leave me to wallow in my own fucking misery.”

“Dude relax. Their relationship can’t last forever.” When you don’t say anything he sighs. “Are you still going to stay in the club?”

“Yea. I can’t just change my mind and leave them with an incomplete team.”

He hums and doesn’t say anything more but you can hear his chair squeak as he turns back to his laptop and continues his typing.


	3. Chapter 3

You don’t want to get out of bed. You dreamt about Jade and Dave’s wedding. She asked you to be her maid of honor and for some stupid reason you agreed. You wore a green dress and stood beside her and watched her marry Dave. You woke up after they kissed and your dress turned into a snake that tried to strangle you when you yelled out for Jade. You just lay there staring at the ceiling and not moving. It’s already past noon and you’re starving but food just doesn’t sound good right now. Sollux left sometime in the morning and hasn’t been back yet. You find yourself wondering what he does all day. Surely he can’t be hooking up all the time right? You don’t know why you even care. You try to think of anything that’s not Jade but your mind keeps wandering back to her. It figures that she has a boyfriend. Why wouldn’t she? Everything in your life turns to shit no matter what you do. You make friends with an awesome kid? Well turns out he’s a drug addict that can’t even remember when you have plans let alone stay awake for those plans. You find a really amazing girl that you’re pretty sure you love and of course she has a boyfriend. You hate to admit it but he’s good looking. Better looking than you. Taller than you too. Jade had to stand on her toes just to kiss him. You’re almost shorter than her. What girl wants to date a guy that’s shorter than her?

You sigh and roll to your side. Everything hurts. That’s what you get for staying in bed for so long. You end up sitting up to stretch. Your back pops and your legs loosen a bit. You wonder how much longer you can stay in bed before you develop bedsores. While you’re contemplating that there’s a knock on your door. It doesn’t sound normal. Almost like plastic tapping the wood. You groan and shuffle to the door. Terezi and Vriska are standing on the other side both grinning in a way that makes your stomach turn. It had been the little plastic dragon head at the end of her cane that you’d heard hitting the door.

Vriska whistles and looks you up and down. “Nice boxers Vantas.” She winks.

Fuck. You forgot you weren’t wearing pants. You narrow your eyes at her. “What do you want?”

“Put on some pants Karkles, we’re going to party.”

“Where?”

“Right here in the commons area.” Vriska answers.

“Sounds fun. Having my eyes scooped out with a rusty spoon sounds even more fun.” 

Vriska rolls her eyes and Terezi laughs. “I managed to get my hands on a few bottles of some pretty decent spiced rum when I was visiting my family last weekend.” Vriska says, holding up her bag that clinks slightly.

“Cause we obviously won’t get caught out in the open drinking rum.”

“It’s not like they have security cameras out there. And the night monitors aren’t supposed to come by tonight.” Vriska puts a hand on her hip and sighs. “It’ll be fine. We have a plan. So are you coming or not?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll come by.”

“You'd better. It's been too long since I got you all liquored up.” Terezi laughs, prodding you with her cane.

“Just make sure you shower and brush your teeth first.” Vriska says, waving a hand in front of her nose and laughing.

They retreat down the hall and you close the door harder than is really necessary. You really don’t like the sound of their plans but there’s a chance they’ll distract you enough to forget about your broken heart. You kind of feel gross and, while you’re totally not taking Vriska’s suggestion, you decide you need a shower before you socialize. You grab your shower things, your towel and a change of clothes before heading to the showers down the hall. Each shower is its own cubicle. You step into the little changing space and slip out of your clothes. It's stupid but for some reason this always makes you feel anxious. If you had a way to lock the entrance you would. You feel too exposed with only a thin curtain hiding you from the world. You reach into the attached shower and flip on the faucet waiting for it to reach a bearable temperature. The hot stream of water relaxes you immensely and for a minute you're able to forget about everything. About Jade, about Dave, about Sollux and Terezi and everything. All you can focus on is the water hitting your body and the soap in your hair.

After your shower you feel a tiny bit better. No longer feeling weighed down with dirt and sweat or the thoughts that were plaguing your mind. You brush your teeth before heading back to your room. Still empty. He must be with that girl again. Maybe they have an exclusive relationship. That would be shocking. Actually that’s probably impossible. He likely just favors her right now above the others. Ugh, why are you thinking about him again? Sparing too much of your time thinking about him can't be good for your mental health. You pull out your laptop and flop down on your bed. You check your email, nothing but junk and a few reminders for school events. Pesterchum is set to automatically log you in when your computer turns on and a few windows pop up but you end up ignoring them. It's just Gamzee and Kanaya anyway. They won't be too hurt if you ignore them. You have a paper due on Tuesday but you don’t feel like working on it right now. You have two days, plenty of time to write something worthy of a C. Usually you can get sucked into conversations and mindlessly surfing the internet but nothing is working to distract you. You keep seeing Jade kiss him and the smile on her face like there was no where she’d rather be. Fuck Dave. He didn’t even look happy to have her in his arms.

Your phone buzzes with a text from Terezi. “H3Y K4RKL3S, W3’R3 ST4RT1NG. G3T DOWN H3R3 OR W3’LL COM3 G3T YOU! H3H3H3”. You hadn’t realized how much time had passed since they stopped by your room. You look out the window to find that it’s already dark outside. There’s a distant rumble of thunder but the rain hasn’t started yet. You sigh and put your laptop aside. You really aren’t up for socializing but you could really use the distraction. You don’t want to think about Jade or Dave or how pathetic you are anymore and alcohol is supposed to numb pain right? When you get down to the commons area the usual group is there. John, Vriska, Gamzee, Terezi, Tavros, Kanaya and Kanaya’s girlfriend whose name you can’t remember. Was it Lily?

You plop down on one of the couches next to John. Vriska is on his other side leaning over the table to pour something into eight glasses. Terezi is on the other couch across from you with Kanaya and…Violet? Gamzee is on the floor next to you leaning against the couch and staring at Tavros whose chair is by Vriska. She passes out the cups and you stare down at the dark liquid. It smells weird but it tastes sweet which is good enough for you. A few cups in you won't really be able to taste it anyway. The conversation picks up but you’re barely listening until John is looking at you. There’s a light flush on his cheeks from the liquor and he’s smiling like an idiot.

“So Karkat, how do you like the robot club?” He asks raising his cup to his lips.

“Is there anyone that doesn’t know about that?” You grumble.

“Sure. But my sister told me that you were helping them out.”

“Yea well…it’s alright I guess. I don’t understand more than half of what they’re saying though.”

“Whenever Jade starts talking about her robo stuff I usually just smile and nod my head until she’s done. I don’t really get that stuff either.”

You wish he’d stop talking about Jade. This was supposed to be distracting you from her but John is just making it worse. You like the guy, he’s been your friend since you were a freshman, but right now you kind of just want to hit him if it means he’ll shut up. He keeps going though. He starts telling you stories about growing up with Jade and how different they are. You begin downing the drinks Vriska pours for you finding it prevents you from having to contribute much to the conversation and numbs the stab you feel in your chest every time he says her name. You don’t even notice when Sollux joins the group and takes an offered drink from Terezi. He’s drenched and you realize he was probably caught in the rain. The thunder had gradually gotten louder but you hadn’t thought it was raining that hard. He’s smiling and talking to Kanaya and…Petunia? Why does it make you so angry to see him talking to them so happily?

“Hey Karkat, buddy, you ok? You're starting to look a little out of it.” John says, patting your shoulder.

“Leave him alone John. He's fine.” Vriska says as she offers you another cup full. “So tell us Karkles, what's got you so down?”

“Nothing. I'm perfectly fine.”

“Of course you are. You've been even more tense than usual and we've all noticed.”

“I'm not tense.”

“Maybe not right now but definitely when you're sober.”

It may just be the alcohol but she actually sounds concerned. That can't be right. Vriska doesn't get concerned about others. All she cares about is herself and getting what she wants. She's a manipulative bitch and you only hang out with her because of Terezi and John. You want to tell her this but even in your intoxicated state you know that's a bad idea.

“He's probably just stressed about school.” John says trying to help you out.

“Whatever it is I'm sure it could all be fixed with a good fuck.”

You very nearly choke on the gulp of rum in your throat. What is it with her and saying outrageous things like that when you're drinking?

“What the fuck. Will you get off of that?” You ask, wiping the spilled rum from your lips.

“You know it's true. I know you fooled around plenty of times with my girl 'Rezi even if you didn't ever seal the deal. So what's stopping you? Isn't there anyone you like?”

You think for a startling moment that she knows about your crush on Jade. Somehow she always knows things she shouldn't know. You wonder if Terezi knows and told her but you're not really sure she would intentionally make you vulnerable to Vriska's manipulation. She smiles in a way that makes your stomach turn.

“If you're looking for a potential partner I think we both know who you can go to.” You follower her line of sight to Sollux.

She loses interest then and goes back to talking to Tavros. You watch him. He's laughing and suddenly it's all you can hear. That stupid obnoxious laugh you have to hear whenever he's talking to Aradia online or he's picking a fight with you. You just want to punch him. Why Vriska thinks you would want to fuck him is beyond your ability to understand. You hate him. He's cocky and selfish and such a fucking slut. Being in the same room as him makes your blood boil until you're sure there's steam coming from your ears. Before you can stop yourself you're crossing the room to where he's sitting. You perch on the arm of the couch next to Terezi and point a finger at Sollux who is sitting in the adjacent chair.

“Do you ever stop flirting with people?” You ask vaguely aware of the slight slur in your voice but you’re too gone to care.

“Hello to you too KK.” He says with a smirk. “I see you’ve been drinking your fair share.”

“Answer my fucking question.”

“I wasn't flirting with anyone. So I guess my answer is yes.

“You gueth?” You mock his lisp and smirk. “Why would anyone be interested in you? You can't even speak correctly.”

He raises his eyebrow curiously. He's not angry, which is surprising and uncharacteristic of him. You wobble a bit on your seat and he reaches out to steady you. You slap his hand away.

“How much did they let you drink?” He asks, swiping your cup from your hand and setting in on the table in the middle of the room.

“They didn't let me drink. It was my own choice to drink as much as I did.”

“Uh-huh.” He doesn't sound convinced in the slightest. “Maybe you're just a lightweight that can't handle his liquor.” He smirks and you want to slap him.

You’re poised for a witty response when there’s a loud clap of thunder and the lights suddenly go out. You startle and practically fall into Kanaya's lap. John turns on his phone’s flashlight and shines it so Vriska can put the bottles in her bag to quickly hide the evidence. Kanaya and Marigold gather the cups and rinse them in the sink before hiding them under a pile of paper towels in the trash. You sit dumbfounded like your brain hasn't quite caught up with the situation. A brighter flashlight shines over all of you and when you’re no longer blinded you see the face of one of the night monitors. She's older but one of the nicer ones. You're pretty sure she can smell the rum in the room by the look on her face but she doesn't say anything.

“Alright guys, the power was knocked out by the storm. I want you all in your respective dorms. We will be checking on you periodically so don’t even try to take advantage of the lack of lights.” She says with a small smile and a wink.

“Uh, how am I supposed to get upstairs to my dorm?” Tavros asks, sounding worried. You can't even see where he is.

“Don’t worry buddy, we’ve got’cha.” John said grabbing the back of his chair and wheeling him toward the stairs.

“That’s fine but head over to the senior building as soon as you’re done.” The night monitor says before moving back down the hall leaving you in the mostly dark room.  
As soon as the light is gone you feel a familiar fear grip you. You haven’t really been afraid of the dark since you were a kid but you hadn’t been in complete darkness in a long time. Not like this. You don't like not being able to see. You're not sure how Terezi does it 24/7. You feel lost not knowing who or what could be around you, next to you, breathing down your neck. You flinch at your own thoughts and grab hold of the first person you can find and try to stop the shaking in your hands. Their hand snakes around your waist and you’re being pulled closer. When John shines his flashlight in your direction you find that the person holding onto you is Sollux. Your first instinct is to pull away but for some reason you don't.

“Come on guys, she said not to take advantage of the dark.” John laughs.

“Very funny. I’m not about to let him stumble around in the dark after you guys let him drink so much.” He retorts steering you toward the stairs. You think you see him glare at them and his arms tense but you brush it off as your imagination. Why would he care? He's just putting on an act to look like the good guy.

John shrugs but looks a bit guilty. When you stumble John frowns and turns away. The girls go to their dorms, Daisy is on the phone with someone requesting a ride, and you follow the others to the stairs. John scoops Tavros up in his arms and even in the dark you can see the blush that rushes to his cheeks. Gamzee grabs hold of his chair and follows behind them with a look of jealousy. You know he'd do anything to be the one with Tavros in his arms. It was probably better to let John do it though. Odds are Gamzee would either drop him or trip on the stairs and land on him. 

Sollux’s arm stays around you and you pretend that it's not comforting even though his touch calms you. Stabilizes you. If anything is hiding in the dark it can't pull you out of his grip. Once you're all upstairs John places Tavros in his chair and says goodbye before him and Gamzee head back down. You are steered towards your room but you almost want to tear from his grip and hide away in Gamzee's room until morning. You don't. It's too dark and you can no longer see the retreating back of your friend down the hall. Inside the dorm room you expect to feel better with the open curtains casting light into the room until you realize the usual comforting glow of the moon is missing. The clouds are too thick and too dark for the moon to shine through. So you keep your grip on Sollux’s shirt hoping he can't see the fear on your face.

“KK, are you ok?” He asks, looking down at you.

“I’m fine.” You had meant to snap but it came out quietly and without the anger you intended.

“If you’re fine then let go of my shirt.”

“Why is it so dark in here?” You can’t stop the words from leaving your lips and immediately kick yourself for it.

“Shit, are you afraid of the dark?”

You look for the humor in his words but can’t find it. He actually sounds concerned. “Shut up. It’s perfectly normal.” This time you do snap.

“You’re going to have to let go of me eventually if we plan to sleep. Unless you want to sleep together.” You can see the smile and the eyebrow wiggle that follow. You smack his side as hard as you can but he only laughs.

“Do you ever think of anything else?” You back away a bit but keep your hold on his shirt so you know where he is and that's he's still there. As long as you're touching him you know you aren't alone in the room.

“I’m a seventeen-year-old boy. What else do I have to think of?”

“We’re the same age and I don’t think about…that all the time!”

“Not even with Jade?”

“Jesus Christ can we not talk about Jade for five fucking seconds?” You grumble, pushing away from him entirely. Suddenly you'd rather be alone if it meant he was gone. Bringing up Jade was a low blow that he knew would hurt.

“I thought you liked her.” God you want to punch him. If you could see him you would.

“So what, she has a boyfriend. It doesn’t matter what I feel because she’s with Dave. He’s better looking than I am, taller than I am, cooler than I am. I can’t compete with him!” Anger is welling inside you, in your stomach and chest overflowing out of your mouth in the form of shouted words.

“Maybe you should look for someone else.” He says this so nonchalantly like it's the easiest thing in the world to move from one person to another. Only for him. For someone who doesn't care about the people he uses and throws to the side.

“Who else is there? The only other girls I know are Vriska, who I can’t stand, Terezi who already dumped me once, Kanaya who’s more like a sister and Ivy who I barely know and is a lesbian anyway!”

“Ivy? You mean Rose?”

“Whatever. The point is that no one will ever like me so what’s the point of crushing on someone anyway? Who would be stupid enough to want to date me? I sure as fuck wouldn't date me!”

He's silent and you wonder for a minute if he's left. You didn't hear him move or the door open or close but even with your eyes adjusted to the dark you can't see if he's in front of you still. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m that stupid.” He finally says startling you enough to shake and nearly lose your balance.

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

“You said someone would have to be stupid to date you. I'm not stupid and I'd date you.” You don't respond and he snorts and sighs somehow at the same time. “I like you idiot.”  
“You like everyone.” The fight is gone from your voice and is instead replaced with slight confusion and sudden embarrassment. 

You can practically hear him frown and furrow his eyebrows. “I don’t like everyone. I like you.”

You don’t know if it’s the alcohol, the self-pity, or the way he’s looking at you (which you can actually see now with how close he's come) but what you do next leaves you believing that Vriska has gained control of your body. You find yourself grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pulling him down until you can crash your lips messily against his. He doesn’t move at first and you think you’ve made a mistake until his fingers are tangled in your hair and he’s pulling you tightly against him. This isn’t your first kiss. You and Terezi had kissed a few times when you were dating. But kissing her never felt like this. Kissing her was comforting but kissing him is like chugging water when you're dehydrated. Something you needed and your body is thankful to finally have. Something you can’t get enough of and can’t live without. Your arms drape over his shoulders and you’re holding onto the back of his neck holding him in place. You’ve never been this close to him before tonight so you’ve never realized just how good he smells. Like warm honey and something else. Something very Sollux. It's filling your nose and making you dizzy.

You’re lost in him, in his fingers in your hair and his lips against yours, until you feel his tongue trace over your lips. Your hands slide down to his shoulders and you push him away more quickly than you meant. You’re left for a moment wondering why his lips are no longer pressed to yours. His hair is sticking up in the back from where your hands had been and his lips have a slight sheen to them from your combined saliva. Your brain feels sluggish and you can't quite figure out why he looks like this right away until it clicks. Did you really just kiss Sollux? Did you really just like kissing Sollux? Sollux? What is wrong with you? You hate him. You loath him. You despise him. But if that’s true, why do you feel the need to do it again?

“It’s getting late KK and you’re drunk. Let’s just…go to sleep.” He says shocking you out of your surprised and confused state. He's moving toward his bed, his back to you. You stare at the hair sticking up and wonder in amazement because you did that. Your hands grabbing his hair like you couldn't pull his face close enough. You barely remember doing it like they weren't your hands anymore.

You cross over to your bed and collapse onto it without kicking your shoes off or crawling under the covers. Your heart is pounding and you're overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to cry. There's a lump in your throat and your eyes are burning. You close them and rub until the tears are forced away. You don't think about Jade or anyone else. The last thing in your mind before you drop into sleep is the feel of his lips and his hands on you.

-

You wake with a start when your phone starts ringing loudly directly next to your ear. Springing up in bed you find that you're alone. Again. Your head is pounding, your stomach turning and phone is still ringing noisily so you grab at it and turn off the ringer. It's Dirk. The older brother of the boy you now despise. You grumble to yourself before answering the phone.

“Hello?” You sound a bit angrier than you mean but he doesn't seem to care.

“Hey, where are you?”

“My dorm.”

“I need your help with something. Think you can spare a few?”

“Help with what?”

“You'll see when you get here.”

“No fucking way Strider, tell me what it is. I'm not leaving the warmth of my bed to help your sorry ass out with something until you tell me what it is.”

“It has to do with the club.”

“I don't know a damned thing about robots and you know it.”

“I'm not asking you to work on the robot. I'm asking you to get your skinny ass down here and help me with something.”

“Jesus Christ, fine. Where?”

“My house.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes. I'll text you directions.”

He hangs up before you can say anything more. You let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a growl and flop back on your bed. It's very possible that your head is actually going to crack open. You drank way too much last night and you curse past you for being so damn stupid and thinking that was a good idea for even a second. You feel like you're going to puke and the last thing you want to do is see the older double of the idiot you hate. Come to think of it if you're going to their house you might end up seeing said idiot. 

You sit up and nearly knock over the open water bottle on your side table. You don't remember leaving that there. Next to the bottle are two pills with a note underneath.  
“Make 2ure you driink enough water dumba22. II don't want two come home two a dead roommate.”

You swallow the pills and chug half of the water before a memory hits you like a train and you very nearly drop the open bottle on your bed. You remember being at the gathering, drinking too much, the lights going out and Sollux...lots of Sollux. He brought you back to the room and...that fucker kissed you. No, you kissed him. Did that really happen? It's all really fuzzy like a dream while everything else is rather clear. Maybe it was a dream. Why would you kiss Sollux? He disgusts you. You'd probably catch at least ten diseases just from kissing him. You decide it was a dream but there's a pit in the bottom of your stomach that insists it wasn't.

You drink the remainder of the water and head over to your closet and trade your clothes from the day before for new fresh clothes and trudge to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You bump into Tavros on the way. He gives you a worried expression and comes to a stop beside you.

“Hey Karkat are you, uh, feeling alright today?” He asks.

“Yea. I'm fine.” Your head is still pounding and you can't help wincing at the sudden throb of pain between your eyes.

“You looked pretty sick last night.”

“That happens when you drink a whole damn bottle of rum to yourself.”

“I don't think you had quite that much...I think Vriska only refilled your glass, um, twice.”

No fucking way were you that shit faced from three drinks. You growl and continue toward the bathroom. Your legs feel like they're made out of lead with cinder blocks as feet. You're pretty certain you're going to puke but nothing seems to be coming up. Tavros keeps looking at you as you proceed down the hall. You hold the door open so he can wheel in before you. He mumbles a thanks before leaving you to go to the handicapped shower.

You recoil from your own reflection when you approach one of the sinks. The bags under your eyes are more prominent than they usually are, your hair is sticking up haphazardly and you look paler than normal. You splash some water in your face and rake wet fingers through your short hair until it looks less ridiculous. After you brush your teeth you walk back to your room to drop off your toothbrush. You make sure you have your cellphone before heading out with the directions in hand.

-

It takes you a while to navigate Dirk's directions. Half the street names you don't recognize and you almost miss your stop and barely escape being closed in the bus doors. When you're finally on their street their house isn't hard to find. It's huge, gaudy and actually says “Strider/Lalonde household” in large gold embossed letters above the front door. You feel embarrassed just approaching the door. You don't want others to see you visiting this house. You ring the bell and it's one of those bells that chimes a little tune. How fucking tacky. Was it possible for the Striders to get any more ridiculous? A minute later the door is opening and Dirk is standing on the other side. His face is stoic, passive, and his pointy shades are gone. His eyes are a startling orange color. Must be contacts.

“Hey.” He nods his head at you and steps aside so you can enter.

“What the hell do you need me so badly for? It had better be pretty fucking important or heads are going to roll. I feel like shit.”

“Yea, we heard you got wasted on a little rum.”

“It was more than a little!” Your own voice hurts your head.

“Everyone is in here.” He leads you into a large white room with an overly stuffed L shaped couch placed in front of the biggest flat screen you've ever seen. “Everyone” is Jake, Equius, Kanaya, Rose, Vriska, Terezi and Jade. You inwardly groan. You hadn't wanted to see her.

“Hi Karkat!” She says. You wave halfheartedly in response.

“Good morning Karkat.” Kanaya says as you move to sit beside her. “You look tired.”

“No shit.” You grumble. “What the hell am I here for?”

“John's birthday is coming up and we need your help planning a party.” Jade smiles inadvertently stabbing you in the chest.

“What the fuck does that have to do with the club?”

“That was a lie. Needed to get you here.” Dirk says like it's no big deal.

“His birthday is like two weeks away. This is bullshit. You had to choose today?”

“Don't get your pretty pink panties in a twist. You're the only one to blame for the hangover.” Vriska isn't even looking at you finding her nails far more interesting.

“Like hell! You're the one trying to get me drunk enough to fuck Sollux!”

Well shit. You weren't supposed to say that. Past you from two seconds ago is the biggest fucking moron of them all. All eyes are on you, Terezi is laughing, but you're staring at Vriska. She grins and finally looks up at you.

“How did that go?”

“Fuck you.” You mumble and break eye contact. “Let's just talk about the fucking party.”

There's no way you're going to slip and tell them that you may have kissed Sollux. Or at least kissed him in a dream. Why give her the satisfaction? There was no need to let her know her plan may, or may not, have worked. You pretend you don't feel her eyes burning holes into the side of your head and pretend that nothing happened last night. Which it may not have. One thing's for sure, you really fucking hate not being able to remember what did and didn't happen. There's really only one option and that is to ask Sollux the next time you see him.

“Well, um,” Jade's cheeks are a light shade of pink. “This is John's eighteenth birthday so I'd like to make it special. Any ideas?”

“Booze.” Vriska blurted out before anyone else could speak.

“Seconded.” Dirk says, raising his hand slightly.

“I'm sure we can provide that.” Rose says, gesturing to the large and overflowing liquor cabinet.

“We need a venue. The dorms are too small.” You can't help noticing the cute way Jade puts her finger to her chin and puffs out her cheeks when she's thinking.

“We can do it here.” Dirk says.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yea. It's big enough and our mom won't care.”

“Great! Now, his birthday is a Thursday so we should probably have it the following Saturday.”

“Sounds good.” Vriska says, back to picking her chipped nail polish.

“We also need to make up a guest list.”

Rose pulls out a notebook you hadn't seen before and poises her pen on the paper. She writes down the names of everyone in the room in neat script followed by the names of his other friends. By the time the list is completed there are at least fifty names written down. You don't know more than half of the people on the list. John is supposed to be your best friend but you have no idea who else he hangs out with. Who the hell is Eridan? You don't speak much during the rest of the planning. They decide that John and Jade's parents will pay for most of it but at least two people need to be responsible for the shopping. Vriska volunteers you and Rose says she will help. They all agree before you can object.

Your headache subsides for the most part. Rose exchanges phone numbers with you so she can get in touch with you for the shopping trip. Jade and Vriska will be making a list of everything you need to pick up. At least you've got at least a week before you have to do anything. You catch a ride with Kanaya back to the school. As soon as you’re trapped in the car with the girls Vriska starts asking questions again.

“So are you going to tell us what happened or do I have to beat it out of you?” She asks, twisting in the passenger's seat to grin at you.

“Nothing happened!” You think. “He drug me back to the room and I passed out face first in my pillows. That's it. End of story.”

“Really? Cause Tav says he heard you two yelling all the way down the hall in his room.”

Yelling? You don't remember yelling at him. “He's wrong.”

“Vriska, perhaps you should leave him alone now. He doesn't look well and if says nothing happened then we should take his word for it unless he chooses to tell us otherwise.” Kanaya says without taking her eyes from the road.

Vriska pouts and actually says “hmph” before turning back around in her seat, slumping down and crossing her arms like a child. You don't think you've ever seen her yield so quickly. You turn to look out the window and try to remember what happened. You really don't remember yelling at him but if you did it could have been for any number of reasons. You two fight all the time. The neighbors were used to hearing you two yelling at each other late at night and early in the morning. What's bugging you the most is not knowing if you actually kissed him or not. Why would you? Even drunk you still hate him so why would you willingly put your lips on him? It doesn't make any sense no matter how you look at it. Especially if you'd been arguing. Maybe he had kissed you and you yelled at him? The guy may be a major dick but you don't think he'd take advantage of you and kiss you while you were drunk.

Kanaya pulls up to the school and you immediately get out of the car before Vriska can attack you again. Part of you wants to get away from her while the other part wants to talk to Sollux about what happened. You pass John on the way and he asks where everyone has been. You lie and say you hadn't seen anyone and continue to the junior dorms. You're nearly running by the time you reach the entrance taking two stairs at a time. You can hear the tapping of keys on the other side of the door when you reach your room. Good. He's back.

You try to calm yourself before opening the door and walking in. He has his headphones in and barely turns to look at you when the door closes. You stand awkwardly on your side of the room unsure of how to approach him. How do you even ask something like this? You can't just come straight out and ask but at the same time what else are you expected to do?

You clear your throat but he either doesn't hear or doesn't notice. “Sollux.” You say. Still no response. “Sollux.” this time you're louder and his fingers still on his keys.  
He removed his headphones, you can hear music blaring out of them, and swivels around in his chair to look at you. “Yea?”

“I wanted to...ask you something.” You can practically feel your cheeks heating and you suddenly feel incredibly awkward and uncomfortable.

“What is it? I'm busy and need to get back to this.”

“Last night...” You pause and he raises his eyebrow.

“Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you're afraid of the dark.” He smirks and that nervousness you were feeling is suddenly replaced by anger.

“That's not what I was going to say! How the fuck did you even...never mind that doesn't matter. I just need to know did I...did we kiss last night?”

His eyes widen behind his glasses and for a second you're terrified until he laughs. “What are you talking about? You must have been dreaming.”

“Jesus...thank fuck.” You sigh out, slumping down on the edge of your bed.

“What other kinds of dreams do you have about me?” He asks suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Fuck you. It wasn't a dream it was a nightmare and it sure as fuck won't happen again.”

“Whatever you say KK.” He turns back to his computer and replaces his headphones.

You feel much better now knowing that it was a dream. Even though there’s still that part of your brain that’s nagging you and telling you it wasn’t a dream. But that’s ridiculous. If you had actually kissed him he would probably be gloating about it. He wouldn’t lie and say it was a dream. What would he have to gain from that? It didn’t happen and that’s all that matters. It’s time to move on and forget it ever happened. The end. Now, there's still a paper that needs to be done so you set yourself up at your desk with your laptop and start on it completely forgetting about the idiot on the other side of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang this chapter was fun to write. It’s also the longest so far. I’ve always liked the idea of Kanaya and Vriska being in a pale relationship which is my excuse for why she left Karkat alone so easily. The fourth chapter is practically written already so it shouldn’t take nearly as long for it to update again. Thanks for all the views, comments, kudos, bookmarks and follows.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really anxious about posting this chapter and I don’t know why. I didn’t have anyone proofread this so please let me know if you find any typos. I’m pretty sure I got them all but who knows

Monday and Tuesday are uneventful for the most part. Sollux has been there when you wake up and when you come back every day. You wonder if his girlfriend broke up with him. There’s always the chance that the project he’s been obsessively working on is more important to him than getting laid. If there is one thing he loves more than sex it’s his computers. You remember the time you bumped his desk and jiggled his mouse a bit when he was working on a project. He’d gone off on you like a lit firecracker of rage. Then again he’d also been pretty tired from lack of sleep at the time. Most of the time he’s somewhat bearable as a roommate. When you aren’t arguing everything is peaceful. You sit at your desk, him at his, mutual clacking of keys filling the otherwise silent room. He never bothers you when you’re doing homework either. He’s better at math and science than you so sometimes he’ll lend you his notes to look over. That’s the closest to studying together you’ve ever come. Now, with this chemistry test days away and no hope in sight of scoring higher than a D minus, you decide to enlist his help. With the ongoing peace between you two for the last few days you start thinking that now is as good a time as any to maybe attempt something close to friendship. That doesn’t mean you won’t still argue with him but you’ve noticed the desire to rip his face off has almost completely dispersed. It’s not like you’ll be all buddy, buddy with him but a mutual tolerance would be nice.

You swivel around in your chair and clear your throat. His fingers still for only a moment before he’s tapping away again but he acknowledges you with a quiet “hmmm?”

“That test in chemistry coming up…did you study for it?” You try to sound friendly but end up sounding like you’re in physical pain from having to talk to him.

“My notes are in my bag.” He brushes you off, which almost makes you angry but you swallow the ball of rage back down. You don’t want to fight with him right now.

“I don’t want your notes. I was just wondering if you would…” you have to force the words out of your mouth, your tongue shriveling at the bitter taste they leave behind. “…help me study.”

His hands abruptly stop and you can see his shoulders and back tense. It takes a moment before he relaxes completely and snorts. “Ready to admit that I’m smarter than you?” He finally turns to face you with a smug look and arms crossed.

“You’re not smarter than me! You just get all this chemistry bullshit better than I do!”

“Chemistry, math, computers, engineering, basic social skills.”

“Never mind. I’ll study on my own.” You snap spinning back to face your desk and books. So much for not fighting. You try to be nice to him, talk with him civilly, and he goes out of his way to piss you off. It’s always been like this since day one, part of the reason you can’t stand him.

You can hear him shuffling and a second later he’s wheeling his chair over next to you and looking over your shoulder at your notes. “That answer is wrong.” He points a long slender finger to one of the questions that had bothered you enough to google the answer. Why you thought it was a good idea to trust Wikipedia still baffles you. Past you usually seems to be pretty stupid and naïve.

“Fuck…” You curse under your breath erasing the answer and flipping through your text book for the correct one.

“Don’t you pay attention in class?”

“I try! It’s boring as hell. How am I supposed to listen when all of the words start to run together?”

“Then why not read the textbook?”

“Who reads the textbook?”

“I do. So does anyone else who wants to pass. They don’t assign reading for nothing you know.”

“They give us too much fucking work. How am I supposed to do all of it and read fifty pages while taking notes?”

“You just don’t manage your time well.”

“Bullshit. After class I come right back here to study and do my homework. Then go to sleep only to wake with another day of useless knowledge and more assignments in front of me.”

He’s silent and when you glance at him you find him staring at you and smiling in a way that sort of creeps you out. You quickly advert your eyes back to the textbook and fumble with your pencil. “Not everyone can register and spew out information like a computer.” You grumble. You want to look to see if he’s still staring at you but at the same time you’d rather not know.

“Ok fine, so you don’t have enough time to study everything. I have pretty decent grades in all my classes so just ask me for help. I’m not going to turn you down and make you feel stupid.”

He’s right. That’s not why you can’t stand him. Truth be told he’s a nice guy that’s friendly and helpful and everyone seems to like him. He just disgusts you. At first you thought you’d be close friends since you were rooming together but his constant partners kept you away and eventually you came to detest him for it. Even with all of the arguing you two do you don’t think you would have hated him had he been different. If you could have come home to a room free of half-naked girls and guys or hadn’t had to worry about where you would sleep if they stayed too late. Things definitely would have been better between you two. That’s why you’re trying again now. There haven’t been nearly as many people in your room for almost a week. In fact he’d done all of his “business” away from your dorm. You don’t have to worry about what you’re coming back to after a tiring day of school and socializing. If things continue like this dare you say you might actually start to like him?

He tells you the answers that are wrong on your homework, tells you why they’re wrong and gives you the correct answer. Sometimes he makes you figure out the right answer on your own after giving you a few hints. You hate to admit that’s he’s incredibly helpful and by the time your homework is done you feel less worried about the test. He wheels back over to his desk and you check the time on your phone. Nearly five. You’re supposed to meet in the library for more work on the history project and then you’re all going off campus for dinner at John’s request. You stand and pack your things into your bag before slinging it over your shoulder. You look at him. He has his back to you and is back to clacking away at his keyboard.

“Sollux…”

“Hmmm?”

“…thanks.”

You can see the corner of his mouth rise into a smirk from the side. “No problem.”

You hesitate, unsure if you really want to extend an invitation to him just yet. What if you’re wrong and you won’t be able to get along? The only way to really know is to dive in and try. You suck in a deep breath. “Around six we’re all going out to get dinner off campus.” You speak a little too quickly but he seems to understand.

“Yea?”

“Do you…want to go with us?”

He turns to you and raises a questioning eyebrow. “Are you going to run out and leave me with the bill when I take a bathroom break?”

“I’m not trying to fucking prank you dipshit. I just thought you’d like to come with us.” Why does he have to do that? You’re trying to be nice and he says something stupid that gets you angry.

“Yea I’ll come.”

“Fine. Great. Whatever. We’re meeting by the parking lot. Don’t be late or we’re leaving you.”

He mumbles something you don’t quite catch as the door closes behind you but you’re sure it’s a promise that he’ll be on time.

An hour later your forehead has become very closely acquainted with the table in the library. Kanaya and Terezi are packing up their books next to you and discussing plans to finish the project in the next few days. You hate history. There are too many dates, events, and names to remember. Your part of the project was relatively small compared to the girls but it’s still enough to have your head throbbing.

“Come on Karkat, we’ll be done soon. Let’s go and enjoy ourselves with our friends and forget all about this project.” Kanaya reassuringly pats your shoulder.

You look up at her to see the small smile set on her painted lips and sigh while unsticking your face from the table. You really could use some fun that didn’t end in a confusing dream about your roommate and a terrible headache. Kanaya links her arm with yours as she leads you outside. You typically don’t like to be touched but with Kanaya it’s different. She’s been your friend since you were very young. You can’t even really remember meeting her. She’s just always been there. You started viewing her as a sister sometime in elementary school though you sometimes joked she’s more like a mother. She’s the one person you can never really get mad at and who never takes your angry words seriously. She used to scare off your bullies when you were a kid, and there were a lot of them. There was a time when you were thirteen when you two didn’t talk as often as you used to. She’d become obsessed with vampires and it was all she would talk about. Wondering if they were real, wanting to be one, and thinking she was one. She asked once if she could try biting your neck and you’d called her freaky and avoided her for a month. Kanaya apologized for the way she’d been acting and you apologized for calling her names. Your friendship was patched up and had been perfect ever since.

You lean a little into her side while you walk toward the parking lot. It’s not far from the library, closer to the dorms. The student parking lot wasn’t that big but not many students had their own cars anyway. During classes when the day students were on campus it became more difficult to find spots but in the evening like this it was mostly empty. Of course students in the dorms have assigned spots since day students have the option of taking the bus to class and leaving their cars at home. John, Tavros, Vriska and Jade are already waiting by the cars. You can’t help noticing the way Tavros is staring at John again. You’re just glad Gamzee isn’t around to see it this time. Every time he notices you see his dopy grin drop into a miserable frown. Gamzee doesn’t fall for others very easily. The fact that he likes Tav so much means something and it kind of pisses you off that he’s brushed off and ignored so easily. You like Tavros and all but if he continues to hurt your best bro you’re going to have to say something to him.

“Hey.” John says, waving the three of you over. “We’re still waiting on Gamzee, he says he’ll be down in a sec.”

You nod and your eyes are instantly on Jade. She’s smiling at you.

“Hi Karkat!” She beamed. Ugh, why does she have to be so cute?

“Hey.” You mumble back.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you around as often. Have you been busy?”

“Yea, sort of.” Actually you were avoiding her. Seeing her just reminded you that she was taken and would never go out with you. “I’ve had a lot of homework.”

“Me too. The teachers probably just want to load us up with enough information so we won’t forget anything over break.”

“Yea. Probably.”

There’s a moment of somewhat awkward silence between you. Awkward for you at least. She’s still smiling.

“I convinced Nepeta to join us tonight too! She’s really excited to see everyone.”

You inwardly groan. Nepeta is Jade’s friend that has had an obvious crush on you since you’d met her a few years back. She stares at you whenever you’re in the same room and it makes you uncomfortable. It’s not that she isn’t cute, she’s just too energetic and a little weird. She gives off this sweet innocent vibe but then you find out she goes hunting every weekend with her family. While hunting is a common thing that many people do it becomes strange when guns are replaced with claw like appendages that slip on attached to gloves. She often talks about her family being like cats, lions to be exact, and the thrill of the stalk, pounce and kill is exhilarating. It just creeps you out.

Jade becomes distracted by Tavros and you wander away from them. You lean against the back of John’s car and chat with him idly. He worries too much and you’re usually his favorite target. Most of the time he’s all jokes and pranks but when he wants to he can turn into this big softy. You jokes sometimes that you two are like the leaders of the group. If not for you becoming friends with him he probably wouldn’t know Vriska. Then again you wouldn’t know Jade so maybe that wouldn’t have been too bad. But he is one of your best friends and life without him would surely be boring and uneventful.

He gives you this concerned look, furrowed eyebrows, big blue eyes, lips in a thin smile and head tilted slightly to the side. You can practically feel the questions coming your way.

“You look tired Karkat, are you getting enough sleep?” This is one he always asks though it doesn’t always come first.

“I’m fine Egbert. Can we not do this tonight?”

“Do what?”

“Play twenty questions that I won’t answer satisfyingly enough so you end up putting me in a headlock, messing up my hair and inevitably pulling some stupid prank on me to cheer me up.”

He cracks a toothy grin, bucked teeth poking out over his bottom lip, and laughs. “Ah come on, it’s not like that.”

“Like hell it’s not.”

He leans against his car next to you and bumps his shoulder against yours. “You just never seem very happy. I can hardly get you to smile anymore.”

“I’m not unhappy I’m just…”

“Just the normal grumpy Karkat?”

“Exactly.”

He stays beside you, shoulders touching, but moves on to talking to Vriska. He’s probably the only person you can sit in my complete silence with for hours without it getting uncomfortable. On more than one occasion you’d forgotten he was even there. You hear a high pitched voice that sounds almost like a purr and know that Nepeta has arrived. You sigh as you glance out of the corner of your eye and find her staring at you already. She looks ready to pounce when you see Gamzee approaching and move toward him. She doesn’t like Gamzee. He scares her or something. He’s become Nepeta repellent over the last few years. He smiles and tells you that he almost forgot about dinner. That doesn’t surprise you at all.

“Alright, looks like everyone is here. Let’s split into cars and go. I’m starving.” John says, heading to the door of his car, Vriska going to the passenger’s side.

You stand on your toes and look around the parking lot. You don’t see him. For some reason you’re really anxious that he won’t come. It’s not that big of a deal if he doesn’t. It’s not like you really want him to. You were just being nice when you asked him. It’s his loss if he doesn’t want to spend time with people without getting into their pants. You’ll probably have more fun without him. Still, you look around and are doing one last sweep of the parking lot with your eyes when you feel Kanaya’s hand on your back.

“What’s wrong?” She asks.

“Nothing. Just…making sure everyone is here.”

“If you don’t hurry now you’ll have to fight Terezi for the front seat.” She smiles and walks toward her car.

“Hey Karkat, what are you waiting for?” John asks, leaning halfway out his window.

“Nothing.” You sigh. You definitely don’t feel disappointed. You’re…annoyed. Not even annoyed really. What does it matter if he goes out with you? Out with everyone.

You grab hold of Gamzee’s arm and point him in the direction of Kanaya’s car. He’s been standing next you staring at you with a goofy grin. You think he’s waiting for you but odds are he just doesn’t know where to go. Your hand in the on the door handle and you hesitate. Kanaya hasn’t gotten in yet and she looks questioningly at you over the top of the car. You shake your head and pull the door open but stop again when you hear John’s voice.

“Sollux, hey! What are you doing here?” He asks.

“KK invited me.”

There’s a sudden silence all around you and you can’t tell if you’re imagining it or not.

“Karkat invited you?”

“Why? Something wrong?”

“Uh, no I guess not. You can ride in my car if you want.”

“Nah, I’d rather take my own.”

You didn’t even know he had a car. Maybe that’s why he disappears during the day all the time. If you had a car you’d probably spend the weekends at home. It was too far to take the bus and a cab would be too expensive. You could always ask your brother to pick you up but you’d rather not be stuck in the car with him for three hours. He’d ask invasive questions about your life and make you feel bad when you’d inevitably get angry at him. He’s pretty sensitive and is always concerned about others feelings. It can get to be annoying.

“You shouldn’t ride alone.” Vriska fakes a caring voice before her face splits into a grin and she hops out of John’s car and over to you. She pulls at your arm, her grip like iron and her nails digging into your bicep. She kicks the Kanaya’s car door closed and drags you over to Sollux. “Karkat invited you, he can ride with you.”

You look back at Kanaya but she only shrugs and climbs into her car. Vriska winks at you and dashes back over to John’s truck. You sigh and follow Sollux to an old looking car painted the color of mustard. You expect to see rusted patches but the paint job actually looks fairly new. One of the mirrors is scratched, the side slightly dented like he’d hit something with it. At least it wasn’t hanging off the side or held on by tape. When you try, and fail, to open the passenger’s side door several times he comes around and yanks it open.

“It sticks. You have to jiggle, lift and tug.” He explains.

You could be in the backseat of Kanaya’s nice, clean car with functioning doors right now. Fuck Vriska. There’s duct tape on the seat hiding a rip in the upholstery. You sit and hope that your butt doesn’t stick to it. He closes your door, lifting and throwing his shoulder against it, before coming around to get in the driver’s seat. When he puts the key in the ignition you expect it to take several tries but with one turn it hums to life. The car shakes a little but not alarmingly so. More…comforting you guess. Despite the obvious age of the car it could be a lot worse. He pulls out of the lot following John’s truck down the road and you inspect what you can see of the interior in the limited light. There’s a crack in the dashboard, one of the vents is being help open by a broken chopstick, and there’s a honey scented air freshener clip by the radio. So that’s why he smells like honey. Or…wait. How do you know he smells like honey?

You shake the thought away when you catch him glancing at you from the corner of his eye while at a stoplight. You only notice now how tense you are. You force yourself to relax against the seat and chew on the inside of the cheek. Ignoring him is difficult. You feel like you should say something to him but what? You two rarely talk how are you supposed to know what to say now? You wonder if he feels as awkward as you do. You wish he would turn on music or something so it wasn’t so quiet. The drive to the diner isn’t that far but it feels like an eternity.

“You look like you’re going to puke.” He says, startling you enough for your head to snap in his direction.

“Never get sick of your compliments.” You snarl.

He smiles. “I wasn’t making fun of you dumbass. You actually look like you might be sick.”

“I’m fine.”

He’s still smiling when you look away and focus your stare out the window.

“Why did you invite me?”

You purse your lips and think before you answer. “Because we’re roommates.”

“We’ve been roommates for nearly half a year and you’ve never invited me out.”

“You were always busy with one of your project or one of your…” You trail off. You don’t want to pick a fight over that right now.

“So if I’d been available before you would have asked me out with you guys?”

No. You wouldn’t have. “I just thought we could try being nicer to each other! Is that so fucking hard to believe? We do have to live with each other for the rest of the year.”

He’s silent and you mentally kick past you from ten seconds ago. Why can’t you ever keep your mouth shut? You say the stupidest things. Half the time you hop around on one foot because the other is shoved in your mouth.

“Think you can do it?” He asks.

“I can if you can.”

He laughs. A real laugh. Not a snort or a chuckle. “You’re on.”

You turn your face completely away from him and can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. The rest of the ride is quiet. He has to help you out of the car when the door refuses to cooperate again.

“You’re supposed to jiggle it.” He says as you walk toward the group.

“I was! Your car is a piece of junk.”

You ignore the looks you get from your friends and follow them inside. It’s not too crowded yet so you’re able to snag two tables. You end up at a table with John, Vriska, Terezi, Sollux and Kanaya. The booths are slightly larger than what you’d find in most diners. Three people can sit comfortably on either side. It’s possible to squeeze a fourth but not without cramming together. You’re somewhat squished between Sollux and Kanaya on one side while John is with Vriska and Terezi on the other. You can see Gamzee at the table across from you. He’s sitting on one side next to Tavros on the end and Jade and Nepeta sit across from him. Nepeta keeps looking up at him and scrunching her brows together. She’s practically mushed herself into the wall to get space between them. He doesn’t even notice she’s there.

“The others should be here shortly.” John says, sipping at his water and bring your attention back to the people at your table.

“Others?” You ask.

“We invited Rose, Dave and Dirk. I think Jake is coming too.”

Great. Just great. You were already wary about hanging out with Jade and now her stupid boyfriend is going to be showing up too. The universe just loves to fuck with you. You stare down at the menu but your appetite has flown out the window. When they arrive you can see Dave sit beside Jade and the way her face lights up sends a dagger straight into your heart. Gamzee moves to allow Dirk and Jake to slide in beside him. Rose takes the space next to Kanaya and the three of you squish closer together to make room. You’re suddenly very aware of Sollux’s side pressed against yours. He’s warm and he does smell like honey. You still don’t know how you knew that. It’s not like you go around smelling the guy or his belongings.

Your arms keep bumping so he throws his behind you on the back of the seat. There is nothing more interesting than the menu in front of your face right now. You aren’t thinking about the body next to you or the arm behind you. And you definitely don’t flinch when his arm slides down until it’s practically over your shoulders. John is talking to Kanaya and you glance up at him only to see Vriska smile at you. You don’t like the way she’s staring. Her eyes are implying things that aren’t true and are making you flustered.

Your attention is elsewhere again when you hear laughter from the other table and look over in time to see Jade kiss Dave. Your heart sinks to your stomach and now his arm is around you, his hand squeezing your shoulder in what you can only assume to be comfort. He’s one of the few people who really knows about your feelings for Jade. Though you’re still not sure how he found out. You ignore Vriska and allow him to keep his arm around your shoulders until he decides to move it. You all order, your waitress seems a little annoyed that nearly everyone requests their own ticket, and conversations pick up again while you wait.

“What are you planning to get me for my birthday?” John is asking Vriska.

“The same thing I got you last year.”

A goofy grin spreads across his face and his cheeks flush a light pink. “Best gift ever.” He says and she laughs.

It amazes you how different she can be around John. You had been against them dating at first. John is your best friend and Vriska is…well…kind of evil in a way. But she’s nice to him, makes him happy, and makes him smile. True his pranks have grown to be a bit more destructive because of her but their relationship is the only one that really makes any sense. When the food arrives you use it as an excuse not to talk. You keep glancing over at Jade even though you’re trying not to. She looks so happy. She might as well be ripping your heart out and giving it to Dave as a gift. You’re grateful when the food arrives. It gives you something to do so you don’t have to talk or look up from your plate.

“So Karkat.” Rose says after you’re all done eating. “It has come to my attention that you are very close to Kanaya but I hardly know you at all. I believe we should remedy the situation immediately.”  
“I’m not sure why you’d want to get to know me after all of the horror stories I’m sure Kanaya has told you.”

“Rose is very skilled when it comes to reading people and their true desires that they themselves may not know exist. I think talking with her could do you a great deal of good.” Kanaya sounds proud and you notice their fingers lace together between them. “She also allows for each individual to make an impression themselves rather than be influence by the stories of others. Even if they do give details about that persons stuffed crab that he slept with until he was fifteen.”

Your face heats up and John laughs. “You slept with a stuffed animal when you were fifteen?”

“Shut you’re fucking face I didn’t sleep with him. It. I used it as a pillow.” You snarl trying to will the blush away.

The conversation thankfully turns away from you and you hardly notice Jade again until you’re all leaving. She has her arm around Dave’s waist and is leaning her head against his shoulder as they walk toward the door. Why can’t that be you? He doesn’t even seem like he cares that he has such a wonderful girl clinging to his side. Outside you stop to talk with Rose and Kanaya though you’re barely listening to what they’re saying.

“Karkat, I hope to see you soon. If we’re unable to meet before the shopping trip feel free to ask Kanaya for my chat handle.” You nod and she turns to look at the others. “Come along Dave, Dirk I’d like to get home where it’s warm.”

You almost forgot they were siblings. It should be obvious with that pale blonde hair. Jade follows Dave over but she’s looking at you.

“One more day until the next meeting! I’m really excited. Dirk, Jake and I have done more work on the robot. We’re going to test it out at the meeting.” She grins, excitement written all over her face.

“Sound fun.” You say but you don’t sound convincing. Dave is staring at you. You think. What is it with Striders and sunglasses?

“Oh Dave, you remember Karkat right? He’s helping us out with the club.” Jade’s smile immediately slackens and you wonder why. It’s usually difficult to make her unhappy.

“Yea. You must not have a lot of friends if you can spare your Friday nights at a club you don’t even care about.” His voice is flat but you can feel the bitter resentment that lace his words.  
You glare at him. What a fucking prick. “I joined the club to help Jade. She’s your girlfriend. Why the hell aren’t you a member?”

His blank look cracks for a minute and with the twitch of his lips you can tell he’s probably glaring behind those gaudy glasses. Jade is looking anxiously between the two of you her smile complete gone now. You wonder why she’s not saying anything. Jade never backs down from conflict. You’re locked in a stare down with your own reflection in his god-awful shades when hands come down on your shoulders and drag you backward. You stumble until your back is against the person’s chest. You look up to see Sollux, his eyes are focused on you and his eyebrows are drawn together.  
“Let’s go before you get into any trouble.” He says with a little smile.

You shake his hands off of your shoulders and practically stomp over to his car. You wait for him to open the door and nearly dive into the seat. You clench your jaw and your hands roll into fists. Man you fucking hate Dave. What a dick. How dare he criticize you? You were helping out his girlfriend so he didn’t have to and you still got shit for it. When Sollux gets in he doesn’t turn on the car right away. His hands are gripping the steering wheel and he’s staring out the windshield.

“What a douche.” He says, knocking the pissed off look right off your face and replacing it with shock.

“Who? Dave?”

“Yes Dave. Who the fuck does he think he is talking to you like that?”

All of the anger is drained from your body and instead you feel conflicted. Why is he pissed at Dave? You thought he would be telling you to calm down and get over it by now. The more you think you know Sollux the more layers he sheds to reveal a different part of him. Feeling anxious and unsure of your movements you reach out and put your hand on his arm. He quickly moves to look at you and you can actually see the anger melt away as his features relax.

“Yea he’s a douche but you don’t have to get so worked up about it. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. I just don’t understand what Jade sees in him.” You grimace at the thought and pull your hand away from him. He relaxes, his knuckles no longer white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly.

“You still really like her, huh?”

“Have you seen her?” You practically laugh at how pathetic you are. Of course you’d fall for the girl that was taken.

Sollux finally starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot. Everyone else has already left. The car ride is silent this time but not uncomfortably so like it had been before. You keep your focus on the passing scenery beyond your window and he clicks on the radio. Some top 10 pop song is playing quietly. You find yourself not thinking about Jade but about Sollux. Maybe a friendship with him would work out. You haven’t really argued all night and he got angry on your behalf. That has to be mean something right? The walk from the parking lot is quiet and you wait while he unlocks the door. You grab your shower things and head down to the bathroom. You need to relax and wash away the aggravation and confusion of the night. When you come back the room is empty.

\----

Your name is Sollux Captor and you have no idea what to do with yourself. You find yourself alone in your dorm room staring at the wall. Your roommate went to the showers at the end of the hall mumbling that he’d be back soon. Everything is playing back in your mind like the cheaply made movie. You study every part, each movement, every word, the scenery around you. You tend to over analyze things, which can be helpful sometimes but is mostly a curse.

You moved into the dorm at the beginning of the year, about four months ago give or take, and had been planning to completely ignore your roommate. You don’t like people and new people are the worst. You’d tried to get a single but there was only one left in the junior dorms and it was snagged by Tavros who needed it more than you did. So you were forced to have a roommate and share a tiny space with someone you were sure you’d inevitably hate. Day one you’d given introductions. He’d said he name was Karkat Vantas and he griped when you called him KK the first few times. You spent a lot of time hiding in your friend’s dorm or in the library with Aradia and Feferi. You wanted to spend as little time with Karkat as possible.

After about a week of silence he started complaining about the computers and wires all around the room and you’d gotten into an argument. You discovered that he’s easy to annoy and after a few more minor fights you also discovered that you love annoying him. He turns into this little ball of rage that’s loud, squinty with flailing arms. Instead of getting angry with him you started finding is amusing. Preventing small smiles and smirks was too difficult so you started letting them slip only to find that it pissed him off even more so. You’ve always hated arguing so you couldn’t figure out why you enjoyed unleashing his wrath so often until one day it hit you. He’s unbearably cute when he’s yelling. His cheeks turn a bright shade of red, his eyes open wide and he starts to spew nonsense. It’s fucking adorable.

You’d never had a crush like this before so you went to Aradia and Feferi for advice. They had told you to try being nicer to him but every time you tried he’d suspect you of screwing with him and would end up getting mad. You’d dug yourself into a hole indulging in your obsession with his angry face. He didn’t trust you and worse, he didn’t like you. It was around this time you met her. The queen of hacking and mixing drinks. She’d told you that you needed to make yourself appealing to him while also making him jealous. How do you do this? By making him believe you’re a sex god that everyone wants.

The girls began coming to your dorm after classes and you’d strip down to your underwear and wait until he came back. By this point you’d been roommates for a little over a month. He began to get angry with you for different reasons. He would complain about all of your sex partners leaving garments in the room and always hanging around so he couldn’t just come back and relax after class. When he’d made a comment about your obsession with girls they’d enlisted a sophomore named Eridan. You couldn’t stand the kid but you needed Karkat to believe you liked boys. It only drove him farther away. He began staying away from the dorm at night so you’d see him even less.

Feeling discouraged you’d met with your friends on campus and moped that their plan had backfired. You spoke a little too loudly of your actions and someone over heard. Someone who was friends with Karkat. Vriska was intrigued by the girls’ plan and wanted in. Apparently he had dated her best friend Terezi but they hadn’t worked out because he wanted her all to himself but wouldn’t let their relationship escalate. Any time she would try to advance their relationship he would back off or runaway. Vriska was under the impression that he needed “a good fuck” (her words) and he’d loosen up, be less tense and uptight all the time. So she began planting ideas in his head, making him look at you not as a nuisance but as a possible partner. She also lied about your skills saying she’d slept with you before John but by the time you knew her they were already together. Vriska Serket is a lot of things but she’s not a cheater.

Things stayed pretty much the same but the girls pressed you to keep it up promising you it would work. Vriska claimed he had a hint of jealousy in his voice when he complained to them about your “partners”. But whether or not that jealousy was for them or you was still a mystery. You’d found out about his crush on Jade close to a month ago. It was obvious to anyone with eyes, or without seeing as Terezi knew as well, that he had a thing for her. His face would go bright red when she looked at him, his eyes never left her when she was in the room, and he rambled nervously when she spoke to him. They were already close because she’s John’s half-sister so you thought it was only a matter of time before they were together. Until you got a helpful piece of information from your dear friend. Her younger brother, Dave, had been dating Jade since the start of the term. She was head over heels for the boy meaning Karkat would remain single.

You’d heard that he joined the robotics club to help Jade the morning of his first meeting. You were expecting him to come back happy and smiling but instead he came back looking like he’d seen a ghost. In that moment you saw a chance to move in closer to him. Make him see you as a good guy, not just a jerk who pisses him off and fucks everything with a beating heart. He’d confided in you about Jade and you tried to cheer him up to no avail. It seemed he was going to be hung up on her for a while and you had to distract yourself before you spilled everything right then.

You spent the next morning with your head in Aradia’s lap telling them of your woes when Vriska proposed a plan. She refused to tell you the details, only that you needed to show up in the commons of the junior building at seven. Not a second earlier. You warily agreed reminding yourself that she was on your side and you got the feeling Vriska’s team was always the winning team. Even now you aren’t completely sure why she wants to help you so much. Maybe because of John and Karkat’s friendship. Or maybe she just really cares about the little ball of rage and won’t admit to it. She has a kinder heart than she’s willing to show. You suspect John knows.

It had started raining while you were hiding out and by the time you got to the building you were soaked to the bone and freezing. As promised they were all gathered in the commons area. The room smelled of rum and Vriska motioned with her eyes for you to sit in the chair by Terezi. So you followed instructions and waited while talking to Kanaya about her families annual summer vacation in Paris. Rose would be going with them this year and gushed about how excited she was. A few moments later your conversation was interrupted by a very drunk Karkat. The lights went out and you were left wondering if that was somehow part of Vriska’s plan. She couldn’t have known the weather would knock out the power, right? Either way you ended up with a trembling Karkat clinging to your side so you couldn’t complain. 

You planned to take him back to the room and put him to bed but what followed was beyond your expectations. You discovered he’s afraid of the dark, which is adorable and explains why he was attached to your shirt. You tried to joke with him, lighten him up, but it backfired and turned into an argument and you may have confessed to liking him. You thought he’d swear, hit you, yell but he didn’t. He’d kissed you and at first you weren’t going to do anything about it because he was drunk and probably didn’t know what he was doing. But the next thing you knew your hands were in his hair and all reason was gone from your mind. He’d been the one to break the kiss and you instantly felt regret. Kissing him while he was intoxicated was a mistake. You sent him to bed, left pills and water next to his bed, changed out of your still wet clothes and tried to sleep. You spent at least an hour talking to Aradia about what he did.

AA: what happened?

TA: we kii22ed.

AA: you kissed him?

TA: no he kii22ed me

AA: then what?

TA: then he 2topped and ii put hiim iin bed

AA: whose bed?

TA: hii2 bed AA, what do you thiink ii’m going two take advantage of hiim?

AA: of course not, i was only wondering

TA: what do ii do?

AA: what was his reaction to the kiss?

TA: ii don’t know. he looked…2urpri2ed liike he diidn’t know what he wa2 doiing

AA: why would he be surprised if he initiated the kiss?

TA: probably becau2e he’2 wa2sted. ii get that VK ii2 trying two help but ii don’t 2ee how thii2 wa2 the briilliiant plan 2he boa2ted about. iif anythiing iit made matter2 wor2e

AA: don’t worry sollux, i’m sure things will be ok

TA: ii hope 2o

You’d gotten very little sleep that night and went straight to the comfort of your friends for advice and support. They told you that you couldn’t avoid him forever. You had to face him so you went back to the dorm and waited. You made yourself busy with your work but every time a door down the hall opened you were whipping around to see if it was him. You were too wound up, too anxious. When he finally did come back he didn’t wait even a second to ask about the kiss. He seemed unsure like he couldn’t remember what happened for sure and you panicked. So you lied. You told him it was probably a dream and he was so relieved that it actually hurt you. You played it off like some big joke but inside you were screaming at yourself for lying and at him for being so happy about it.  
You threw yourself into your project after that, if you were working you weren’t thinking about him. He wasn’t there across the room grunting over his homework. You stayed in the room more not wanting to discuss anything with anyone. You didn’t speak to anyone for two days until he broke the silence. It was such a relief to hear his voice and while you helped him with his work you had to remind yourself not to touch him. You thought things were back to normal…until he’d invited you out. It wasn’t a date, it was a group outing but it was something. You spent the next hour fighting with yourself over whether or not to go and almost missed them entirely. When you got out to the lot they were about to leave. Vriska fixed it so that he was in your car, which had been awkward to start.

Everything was nice until Dave showed up. You could see his physical response to seeing them together and you did your best to make him feel better without saying a word. He didn’t even seem to care when you put your arm around his shoulders. You may have left it there longer than necessary, testing the boundaries. You’d gotten angry when Dave attacked him without provocation. He’s a prick. You’d driven Karkat home and now…here you are. Staring at the wall in the empty room.

He’ll be back soon and you really don’t think you can face him right at the moment. Instead you turn on your heel and head right back out the door. You’re practically running by the time you get outside and your sprint to the senior building. Your destination is at the other end of the hall and you don’t miss a beat switching from running to knocking in record breaking seconds. It’s not late so you’re not too worried about disturbing her neighbors. You can hear music on the other side, cursing, shuffling and then the door is swinging open. She looks annoyed but it quickly melts away into worry as she practically yanks you inside.

“What’s up Captor? I was trying to romance my woman.”

The overhead lights are off and the only lamp still on has a pink scarf thrown over top to achieve “mood lighting”. There’s an open bottle of champagne and two glasses on the bed side table and music is streaming quietly from her laptop. Callie is sitting one of the beds. She waves and pulls out a book. Ok now you feel like a jerk. The world doesn’t revolve around your romance problems and now you’re disturbing their date. Good fucking job Sollux.

“I’m sorry. I’ll go.” You turn back to the door but she yanks you back until you fall onto the edge of the bed.

“Spill.”

“I don’t really know what happened.”

She sits next to you and pats your leg. “Tell mama Roxy everything.”

You do. You remind her of Vriska’s plan and the kiss. You tell her about helping with his homework and the unexpected invitation to go out. You tell her about defending him and making him smile that small turn of the lips you could only see in the reflection of the window.

“So what’s the problem? It sounds to me like the plan is workin’ like a charm. The boy is warming up to you. He may have been drunk but that kiss wasn’t nothing baby. We expected baby steps but that little cutie has just leapt forward into your territory. Now just don’t fuck it up.”

You sigh and put your face in your hands nearly knocking your glasses off of your face. “You know I’m going to. Everything I say pisses him off now.”

“But he invited you to dinner and was nice to you.”

“Only because we were mutually pissed at Dave.”

She rolls her eyes and waves her hand around as if dusting that thought away. “The point is that you connected. Who cares if it was because of my bro’s jealousy? At least it got you somewhere.”

“You didn’t set that up did you?”

“Nah, Dave’s just a little douche sometimes.”

You crack a smile and stand. “I should go. I didn’t mean to disturb you guys.”

“Just be glad you got here when you did. If you’d shown up a few minutes later you’d have been out of luck. Now get back to your room and talk to that cutie about nice things or about what a jerk my brother is.” Your hand is on the door when she stops you. “Everything will be ok Sol. You can come talk to me whenever you need. Except for tonight. Now vamoose, my princess is waiting.”

You say your goodbyes and leave feeling much better than you had a few minutes before. Roxy is like magic, just a few words from her and all of your worries are pushed away. You thought her plan was ridiculous from the start, and maybe things would have gotten to this point without it, but you’re grateful for her help and advice. By the time you get back he’s sitting on his bed, hair wet and hanging in his eyes, laptop poised on his curled up knees. He barely glances up at you when you enter the room.

“Where did you disappear to?”

“AA’s laptop had a meltdown…she called me to fix it.”

He nods his head and you’re thankful that he doesn’t automatically assume you’d gone out for a quickie. It’s hard to defend yourself when you have to pretend it’s true. Or at least imply it is. You change into pajamas and grab your laptop. You prefer working on your desktop but then you’d have your back to him and couldn’t watch him. You can just barely see the chat window open on his screen. Who is he talking to? Is he talking about you? Is he complaining about you? Is it Jade? Or someone else he has a crush on? No, stop, thinking like that will only drive you crazy. You focus on your screen and try to work.

“So…what was wrong?” He asks a few minutes later.

“Huh?”

“With her laptop.”

“Oh...uh…it just overheated. I set her up with a cooling pad and told her to wait until it was cool to the touch before turning it back on. It may need a new fan.” This actually isn’t a lie. It had happened a few days earlier but is still true.

He nods his head and turns back to this laptop. This is awkward but also oddly comfortable. Even if you never reach the boyfriend tier you’d be happy if things could stay like this. Idle chatting before bed, friendly nights out and harmless banter that didn’t end in a fight and him stomping out of the room. Listening to Roxy has never lead you down the wrong path before and you intend to continue to take her advice if things keep on like this. And not just because she threatened to destroy your laptop with a mega virus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon time, I saw a little comic strip in the past where Sol tries to hack Roxy and she destroys his computer. So Roxy is the hacking queen and Sollux admires her for it.  
> Also, I know that Karkat and Nepeta are friends in canon and he likes her enough to defend her and she doesn’t force her feelings on him. But this is an AU and I just wanted to fit everyone in somewhere. She will have more romantic options (one of my guilty ships) in the future. I also like the idea that Nepeta would be wary around Gamzee after what happened, which is why she’s “afraid” of him in this fic.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure this has become my most popular fic. Special thanks to PuffyPuffyPuffins for beta reading this chapter!

Your name is Karkat Vantas and right at the moment you aren’t very happy with your life. The last week has been nothing but confusing and emotionally draining. After Wednesday night you were hoping to have a day to relax and maybe avoid everyone. Have some time alone with your thoughts. Of course the universe hates you so that doesn’t happen. You woke up this morning from a dream involving the one person you didn’t want to dream about. Sollux. You dreamt that you kissed him again. It was the same as before, in your dorm with the lights off, only this time it continued. You vaguely remember somehow transporting to a bed. He was on top of you, kissing your neck, grinding against you. The last thing you remember is your clothes disappearing and waking up sweaty and sticky. The overwhelming sent of honey stuck with you even after you woke.

You want to forget about the dream and maybe spend the rest of the day thinking about someone else. It has almost gotten the point where you’re wondering if you should request a new roommate. You’d tried before when he was getting on your nerves but there was nothing available. Maybe if you tell them things have gotten worse they’ll try again. You skipped breakfast but when lunch rolls around you can’t ignore your growling stomach any longer. You have every intention of sneaking in for a sandwich and escaping before anyone sees you. On any other day if you didn’t care one way or another you’d have made it out unseen. Since you do care it only makes sense that you are seen. By Terezi of all people. She says she smelled you. Apparently every person has their own special scent and without use of her eyes she’s come to be able to differentiate between each person’s natural smell. You wonder what she associates with Sollux. She drags you to the table ignoring your words of protest. To your dismay Sollux is there.

The only open seat after Terezi sits is across from him on the extended picnic style bench. He’s deep in conversation with Tavros and doesn’t even seem to notice that you’re there. How is it that you’re always aware of his presence but half the time he doesn’t acknowledge your existence? You nibble at your sandwich but suddenly aren’t feeling very hungry. Terezi is yacking at you about your history project, which you’re supposed to finish up today, but you can’t focus on what she’s saying. Someone’s foot bumps yours and you pull it back faster than you mean to unsure of if it was actually him. Why are you so jumpy? It was just a dream. It doesn’t mean anything. Like he said before, you’re teenage boys, when aren’t you thinking about sex? Or, when did he say that? You’re not even completely sure he did say that but you have this vague memory of that conversation. Shaking off the feeling it leaves you with you try to relax and eat some of your lunch. It was a dream. A stupid dream that was only brought on by your noticing the way he smelled last night. He was also the last person you talked to before falling asleep. That’s the only reason it was him and not someone else.

You try to distract yourself with whatever Terezi is talking about. Some court show or something. It would be nice not think about him anymore. You miss thinking Jade was available. Thinking about her now makes you feel like an ass. She’s got a boyfriend. He’s a douche but still. It would probably creep her out if she knew you thought about her like that at all. That’s the last thing you want right now. Your life is already going downhill. If she stopped talking to you it would only make things worse. As it is you may be forced to visit home soon. Your brother is trying to get you to come down next weekend but that’s when John’s birthday party is. He’s one of your best friends and there’s no way in hell you’re missing his party. Especially not to spend a few days with your dad fawning over your brother and Kankri lecturing you about every little thing you do. Yea, no thanks.

You glance up at Sollux when you hear a snippet of his conversation with Tavros.

“You should really eat something.” Tavros says, eyebrows furrowed together and lips in a worried frown.

“Nah, I’m fine. I’ve got something back in the room.”

This is a lie. He has nothing in the room. Usually you both have a couple of snacks lying around but you know for a fact you both ran out a few days ago. He sometimes goes days without eating and you can hear his stomach growling while you’re trying to sleep. You don’t know why he doesn’t take better care of himself. You’ve seen him pull all-nighters, go to class the next day, and then try to stay up the following night. On more than one occasion you’ve found him sleeping with his face on his keyboard typing endless gibberish, or his head back against the back of his chair and mouth wide open. Once you found him curled up on the floor under his desk as if he’d slid off his seat in the middle of the night and just stayed there. You’d rather not be kept up by the rumbling in his stomach tonight and possibly end up with a dead roommate. You grab the bag of chips that came with your sandwich and throw them to him (or maybe at him) hitting him in the shoulder. He looks down at the bag now on his lap and then back up at you with raised eyebrows.

“Fucking eat something. You’re wasting away and I won’t be the one to deal with you when you inevitably starve to death.” You grumble.

His lips quirk up into a half smile, half smirk. “Thanks KK. It’s good to know you care so much.”

You roll your eyes but are glad to see he actually opens the chip bag and eats a few. From there the rest of the day goes by rather quickly. You very nearly fall asleep in chemistry and end up being forced to stand up for the rest of class. As soon as you’re free you meet with Kanaya and Terezi in the library to put the finishing touches on your project, which is due tomorrow. It only takes about forty minutes to completely finish up and you spend the next hour and a half talking to them. They’re the easiest people for you to talk to about anything. You complain about your brother and how he’s pressuring you to visit and you talk about your boring classes and how it’s not your fault the teacher’s voice puts you to sleep. Terezi offers again to let you stay at her place over break but you turn her down. You’re not sure you can survive another visit to the Pyrope household. Somehow you end up on the subject of Sollux.

“You two seem to be getting along these days.” Kanaya says with a smile that could mean anything.

“Yea I guess.”

“I haven’t heard you complain about him in quite some time.” She pushes.

“He hasn’t been as annoying.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. He just…he’s not sleeping around anymore.”

“And that makes you happy?”

“Ugh, Kanaya, stop!” You practically shout before remembering you’re in the library. You’d rather not get lectured again today. “It’s just easier to get along with him.”

“So you like him?” Terezi asks.

“Maybe. As a friend. Shut the fuck up, Terezi.” You snap when she starts laughing.

“Well, I’m pleased to know you’re doing better.” Kanaya says with a soothing ruffle to your already messy hair. “Now, I have a date so I’d better get going.”

“Gotta get all dolled up for Rose?” You ask.

She smiles. “Absolutely.”

You walk with them back to the junior building before parting ways and going to your respective rooms. Sollux is at his computer working again. You peek over his shoulder and what he’s typing and he stops, looking sidelong at you. Trying to quickly turn away and pull your hoodie over your head at the same time nearly has to face planting into the floor. Somehow you manage to stay upright and keep a little bit of your dignity.

“Do you need something?” Sollux asks, his typing picking up again.

“No. I was just wondering what you were working on. You’re always sitting there typing your fingers down to the knuckle.”

“Programs, viruses, homework a lot of the time.”

“You’re one of those assholes that makes viruses?”

He cracks a smile. “Just for fun. I only send them out to people who piss me off. Like really piss me off.”

“That’s one hell of a way to get revenge.” You don’t want to admit you’re impressed, but you’re impressed.

“Want me to send one to DV?”

You hesitate. He has been a total dick to you when you’ve never done anything to him. Except for maybe helping his girlfriend out but that started before you even knew him. “Nah. He suffers every time he realizes what a tool he is.”

Sollux chuckles and you plop down on your bed and pull out your laptop. Terezi’s question is still stuck in your head. So you like him? You like him more than you did before that’s for sure. You can tolerate him just a little bit more when he’s alone and fully clothed. Unfortunately her question had reminded you of the dream. You’d managed to push it out of your head all day and now it’s all you can think about again. You shiver at the memory of his body pressed against your own. It hadn’t been all that bad of a dream. It’s not like it would happen in real life. But then…what if it did? Not with Sollux necessarily. With anyone.

“KK, you ok?” He asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? Yea why?”

“You were staring at the floor looking like you didn’t know where you were.”

“I was just thinking. Calm down and stop fucking worrying about every weird facial expression I make.”

He gives you a questioning look and you have to look away from him before you explode. He’s still staring at you and it’s making you uncomfortable. You definitely weren’t just thinking about doing lewd things with your roommate that until a few days ago you couldn’t stand at all. You need to say something. Anything to get the attention off of you.

“Do you…want to watch a movie?” You find yourself asking before you have time to really process it.

He seems genuinely surprised at the offer. More so than when you’d asked him to the group outing. What’s the big deal? It’s just a movie. It’s not like you invited him to sleep in your bed or something.

“Sure.” Is all he says as he wheels his chair over to you.

“I hope you like romcoms.”

“I don’t really watch them…but I guess I can give it a shot.” Huh, you’d expected him to make fun of you for that.

You search through your collection for anything without a sex scene. Or at least without an explicit sex scene. You land of 50 First Dates. It’s pretty funny, has some romance and isn’t too horribly mushy until the end. Sollux pulls your small desk (which is mostly empty compared to his) over in front of your bed and you set up your laptop on top and put in the movie. You both settle back on your bed leaning against the wall with enough room between you for two more people to squeeze in. That totally wasn’t on purpose or anything.

“Did you eat anything more after lunch?” You ask as the opening credits roll.

“Yea. A friend treated me to coffee and muffins.”

“In exchange for what?”

“My company? I didn’t screw her for muffins. Her sister made them and brought them by when I was with her.”

For some reason that makes you feel better. So maybe he really had quit sleeping around. You wonder if he’s capable of getting along with his hook ups when they’re dressed and not touching. Images of your dream flash through your mind and you have to physically shake your head to get them to go away. He glances at you but doesn’t say anything. The silence that follows weighs down on you. You can’t think of anything to say. You try to focus on what’s happening on screen but you’re suddenly very aware of the fact that _Sollux_ is on _your_ _bed_. All of his attention is on your laptop and you don’t understand how. Why is he not freaking out and feeling weird too? What is wrong with you?

You need to stop thinking. Leaning forward you turn the volume up to drown out your own thoughts. You busy yourself with picking little lint balls off your sweater sleeve. You’re kind of cold now but it would be weird to put your hoodie back on so soon. Why would it be weird? Jesus dammit why do you even care? You’ve never thought about doing something weird in front of him before. You’re just hyper aware of him and what he’s doing, what he’s looking at, what he might be thinking. You glance at this face and he doesn’t even notice. Or pretends not to.

He appears to be enjoying the movie, smiling and chuckling at a few bits. Not even paying attention to you while you have your own stupid and pointless crisis next to him. He asks a couple of questions about the plot and you tell him to “close your fucking noise maker and just watch the damn movie.” About halfway through the film you realize that somehow the distance between you two has closed. Your shoulders are very nearly touching but it’s not uncomfortable or awkward in the least. It just feels normal. Another person sitting next to you not even thinking about you. You need to stop letting yourself get so worked up over something as stupid as a dream. People sitting close together during movies is totally normal. You usually lean back and throw your legs over John’s lap when you watch anything with him. That’s never confused you and driven you insane so why should it be any different with Sollux?

At the part when they go to the institute and meet Ten Second Tom you start to feel tired. You’d shut the lights off to better see the screen and now your eyelids are drooping. You stifle a yawn but are beginning to think you’re going to pass out before the end of the movie. Maybe that would be for the best. The ending usually makes you tear up a bit, which is definitely not what you want to do in front of Sollux. You rest your head back against the wall and allow your eyes to fall closed while listening to the dialogue and the occasional laugh from him. You’re not exactly sure when you fall asleep or what Sollux does afterward but you wake up under the covers with your desk back where it belongs.

\-------

It’s Friday. You hate Fridays. Today is the day you get to sit around for a few hours in a club where you don’t understand half of the things said. All the while being reminded that Jade has a boyfriend. Because why wouldn’t you want to spend your Friday night doing something that will inevitably make you angry or upset? You contemplate not going at all but she’d said they’d done a lot of work on the robot and you kind of really want to see it. Also Dirk and Jake are pretty ok. Dirk’s not nearly as annoying as his younger sibling and you’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that everyone in John’s family is destined to be your friend. You spend the morning worrying about what to say to Jade but at least you’re not thinking about that stupid dream. By lunch you’ve got a headache and spend most of the hour with your head on Kanaya’s shoulder. You turn in your history project later that afternoon and your presentation goes well. Your headache has completely subsided by the end of the day and you retreat back to your room before anyone can stop you.

You have weekend homework but three minutes in and you’re too anxious to sit still any longer. It’s still about an hour until you need to show up for the meeting but you can’t just sit around anymore. There isn’t a lot to do on campus and you can’t go very far if you intend to be on time. Its cold outside with winter having finally settled in but it seems the only option is to go for a walk. Maybe you’ll get lucky and freeze to death. You slip on your warmest hoodie and head out down the path that leads toward the academic buildings. There’s frost on everything, the trees are completely bare and you can see your breath in little puffs of steam whenever you exhale. The wind isn’t too horribly strong but each gust bites at your nose and ears and cuts through your clothing. Campus is mostly empty, everyone having gone home or hiding from the cold in their rooms. Every person you do pass is holding their arms around them to hold in the heat and walking quickly toward someplace warm. You can see the science building come up but you veer off toward the parking lot instead. It’s not quite 4:30 yet and you’re betting no one will be in the room. Even if they are you really don’t want to spend any more time there than necessary.

As you pass the parking lot you think you hear your name being called out but the wind carries it away so you keep going. A second later you feel something hit the back of your head and turn to see Dirk and Jake walking toward you. On the ground at your feet is an empty water bottle. You direct your glare at Dirk as you’re sure he’s the one who threw it. He does that weird smile smirk you’ve come to associate with his family.

“Aren’t you headed the wrong way?” Dirk asks, gesturing with a thumb over his shoulder back to the science building.

“It’s not five yet.” You say checking the time on your phone. It’s 4:38. You still have plenty of time to get nice and freezing before going to the meeting.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a little early!” Jake is far too chipper and it kind of makes you a little angry.

“You are still going right? You’re not bailing on us two weeks before the qualifying match are you?” Dirk’s voice is as flat as ever when he asks but there’s a vaguely threatening edge to it. You’re pretty sure if you quit the club now you’d end up with one of the swords you’d seen at his place in your stomach.

“No, I’m not bailing. I’ll be there.”

“You sure you’re not avoiding Jade?”

“Why would I be avoiding Jade?” The words kind of tumble out of your mouth too quickly to stop.

“Cause she’s dating Dave and you have a thing for her.” He says plainly like it’s obvious.

“Is there anyone who doesn’t know about that?” You grumble while looking anywhere but at the two of them.

“It depends on who else Rose told.”

“Rose knows?”

“Kanaya told her.”

“Of course she did.”

“Relax, aren’t you with that kid in the glasses now?”

“Who?”

“The one you brought to the diner.”

“Sollux? No! He’s just my roommate. Don’t be so fucking gross.”

Dirk puts his hands up in mock surrender. “You two looked pretty close all cuddled up in the booth.”

“We were squished. It couldn’t be helped.”

“Then he goes and defends your honor when Dave was being a little douche. Seems to me he likes you at least.”

“That’s bullshit. He likes everyone.”

_I don’t like everyone. I like you._

You tense as Sollux’s voice fills your head. When had he said that? Had he ever said that? Why the hell would you suddenly think of that if he hadn’t? Why does he have to come up in every conversation and invade your mind with things he may or may not have said? Dirk is staring at you with raised eyebrows peeking over his ridiculously pointed shades. He looks like he’s going to ask something when Jake opens his mouth first.

“The meetings going to start soon fellows. We should get going.” He says, pulling his sleeve down back over his watch.

So much for your alone time. You follow behind them toward the building. It doesn’t pass your notice when Dirk snakes his arm around Jake’s waist and pulls him closer. Jake falters in his steps before correcting himself and draping his own arm over the other’s shoulders. You swear his cheeks grow about a shade redder and not from the cold. They’re so comfortable touching one another in public. You noticed the same with Rose and Kanaya. It’s hard not to wonder if they’re ever afraid of how others will perceive them. Although you’re pretty sure any of the four of them would put someone in a coma if they made rude remarks. You aren’t so sure you would be as brave. Though you find it ridiculous holding your partners hand in public requires bravery at all.

The warmth of the building immediately hits you and begins to defrost your fingers, ears and nose. By the time the three of you make it to the room you’re heated through and feeling comfortable in your own skin for the time being. As soon as you walk in you notice how Jade looks distracted, maybe a little sad. You wonder what’s wrong with her. She’s usually pretty cheery and almost always wears a smile. She perks up when she sees everyone and practically glides over.

“Hi! I was starting to think you guys wouldn’t make it.”

“I’m the supervisor. I have to be here. Besides, we’re unveiling the little guy tonight! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Jake beams, leaving Dirk’s side and going to the table Equius is standing beside. There’s a lump with a sheet over it in the middle.

“It’s all he’s talked about for days.” Dirk says though he sounds like he doesn’t mind. You’re pretty sure they’re both really into this kind of thing.

“Tell me you’re excited, Karkat!” She grabs your hand and drags you over to the table.

“Yea. I guess I’m pretty excited.” You try not to concentrate on the way her small hand feels in yours. Your hands are pretty cold still but she doesn’t seem to mind at all.

“Are you ready?” She asks, looking over everyone. Without another minutes hesitation she and Jake lift the sheet off the robot and throw it onto the next closest table.

It actually looks pretty cool and you’re amazed that they built it. Right now it’s mostly just a pile of wires and metal that doesn’t make any sense to you but it looks pretty menacing like this. Of course leaving it like that would leave it vulnerable to attacks. It needs the thick outer body to absorb the damage. At least you know that much.

“What do you think?” Jade’s eyes are on you and it takes you a minute to realize everyone else is staring too.

“Oh. Um, it’s…nice?” Wow you sound like an ass. What else are you supposed to say? You don’t exactly have the ability to start spewing out technobabble like them.

“Keep in mind this is just its innards. It’ll look much better when we get the casing on.” Jake says and you feel like even more of an ass.

“I mean, it’s pretty damn impressive. I couldn’t have done something like this. I really don’t understand any of what you guys talk about in this club. But as far as robots I’ve seen in my life time, which is none, this one is the best.” Dammit. Way to make yourself sound even more like an idiot in front of her. That’s the way to win her heart.

She’s smiling at you so maybe you didn’t completely fuck up but you still want to just curl up under the table and refuse to come out. Once again the rest of the meeting is filled up with words and terminology you’ve never heard before. They explain as much to you as possible and work a bit on the robot. It’s interesting just to watch as they put things together, attach wires, and make adjustments to the blueprint. There’s not a lot they can do in the classroom but they still manage to get a bit of work and figuring out done. By six thirty they’re done for the day and Jake and Dirk leave to take the robot to one of their houses. You walk with Jade and Equius to the cafeteria for dinner. Equius splits away from you two as soon as you’re in the building and you’re kind of surprised to see him sit with Nepeta.

“Thanks again for joining the club. You looked pretty bored today.” Jade says, stuffing a strand of her wild hair behind her ear.

“It’s pretty interesting watching you guys work. Most of the words just kind of run together to create background noise but it’s not so bad.”

She smiles. “Still, thank you.”

“It’s no big deal.”

She hesitates and fidgets for a moment before launching herself forward and pulling you into a hug. Wow she really smells nice. It’s probably her shampoo. It kind of smells like flowers and some sort of spice. It’s nice but you can’t help thinking you’ve smelt better, which is a completely weird as fuck thing to think. She lets you go and smiles at you one more time before dashing off to join Nepeta and Equius. You’re kind of dumbfounded, unsure of what exactly you should do now. Jade hugged you. You should be happy, smiling, and dizzy with glee. Not that you aren’t happy. It was a pretty good hug. It just didn’t feel right. Almost like hugging your sister or cousin. Nice but not really intimate. Maybe it’s just because you’re in the middle of a semi-crowded cafeteria. Either way you’re a little disappointed.

You go through the food line and buy yourself a Caesar chicken wrap and a bottle of pop deciding it’s better to just eat in your room. Your friends would have eaten already anyway so there would be no one to sit with and no reason to stay. When you get back to the room you’re really not surprised to see Sollux sitting on his bed with his laptop on his knee. This is how it’s been for a little over a week now. He’s always there and completely alone when you return. He has large headphones covering his ears and merely glances at you when you close the door. You sit at your desk, wake up your laptop and start in on your meal while waiting for Pesterchum to load. You scan your friends list see if there’s anyone worth talking to that is currently on. Terezi’s away, John and Gamzee are on but the rest of the list is grey. You don’t really feel like talking to Terezi right now. She’ll probably give you a hard time about Jade (or Sollux) and you really just want to unwind and get lost in senseless chatter.

You’re about to draft a message to John when a window pops up asking if you’d like to accept a message from tentacleTherapist. You’re not sure who it is but you accept it anyway just in case it’s someone you know. A chat window opens with a new message.

TT: Hello Karkat. It’s Rose. Kanaya gave me your user name. I hope that’s ok.

CG: YEA THAT’S FINE

TT: I was hoping to make plans with you for our shopping trip. What days are good for you?

CG: DAMN I DON’T KNOW WHENEVER IS FINE I GUESS

TT: How about this coming Thursday? We can meet after classes and go straight to the store for supplies. That will leave us one day in case anything is forgotten or added on while also preventing either of us from having to hold onto anything for too long.

CG: SOUNDS GREAT

TT: Are you alright?

That kind of takes you off guard. Why wouldn’t you be alright? Why would she suspect that you aren’t alright? Did Dirk say something to her? Were you too weird tonight?

CG: JUST FINE

TT: Forgive me but I’ve been told you’re rather wordy in your conversations and you’ve given nothing but short answers. It seems to me that would be a sign that something may be bothering you. Is it Jade?

CG: NO IT’S NOT JADE JESUS CHRIST MY WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER. YES I HAD A CRUSH ON HER AND YEA IT SUCKS THAT SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND BUT I’M NOT SITTING OVER HERE LISTENING TO SAD MUSIC AND CRYING INTO MY DAMN PILLOW LIKE A LOVE SICK LOSER. MAYBE I’M DISAPPOINTED THAT HUGGING HER HADN’T FELT SPECIAL AT ALL AND MAYBE I’M A LITTLE BIT CONFUSED ABOUT MY FEELINGS FOR HER AND OTHERS RIGHT NOW BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S THE REASON I’M UPSET. IF I WERE UPSET WHICH I’M NOT

TT: I’m sorry for assuming. I’m merely going off of what Kanaya has told me about your situation. If you don’t mind I’d like to talk to you some other time, preferably face to face, so that I might get to know you better.

CG: YEA SURE WHATEVER WE CAN TALK ON THURSDAY

TT: Great. I’ll see you then. Goodbye.

CG: BYE

Before you log out you make a point of adding her to your friends list. You don’t know Rose that well but as it stands right now you like her. She’s special to Kanaya and makes her happy. Kanaya never dated before she met Rose. Men and women alike would approach her but she always respectfully turned them down. She’d met Rose during freshman year and they became friends. Soon she spent a lot of her time and many nights away at the Lalonde-Strider household. It wasn’t until the start of this year that they started dating though you thought it happened the previous year when Kanaya was distant and was constantly texting Rose. It had been pretty annoying back then when she couldn’t hold a conversation for long but it’s not so bad now.

You finish eating your meal and dump the wrapper into the trash can next to your desk. You figure it’s about time you started on your homework since you’re not as anxious now. Algebra is at the top of the list so you crack open your text book and try to get to work. Man you hate math. You’re actually pretty good at this subject but it still bores you to no end. Numbers, fractions, formulas, word problem after word problem. And you’re always assigned so much. Full chapters at a time every single question. You fill nearly five pages in your notebook front and back by the time you’re done. Your Latin homework stares menacingly at you so you push it aside in favor of chemistry. Your test is Monday (what kind of sadistic teacher schedules a test for Monday?) so you need to get your last bit of studying in by Sunday. The homework is nothing more than a review sheet, things you’ve already gone over and questions you’ve already answered, but you’re still a little confused and some of the answers you can’t remember at all.

You look over your shoulder at Sollux. He still has his headphones on and you can see his head bobbing slightly to the beat. You wonder what he’s listening to. He rarely listens to anything so you’re kind of intrigued by his physical reaction to whatever is coming through is headphones. Part of you wants to ask him for help again but you don’t want to bug him. He’s probably too busy and will complain that you’re bothering him. Or he’ll make fun of you. He spared you last time but this is pretty much the exact same thing you went over on Wednesday. Sollux looks up from his laptop to reach into his bag and catches you staring. You quickly turn back to your desk. Too quickly. It makes you look guilty. A second later you can hear the faint beat of his music as he removes his headphones.

“See something you like?” He asks and you can actually hear the shit eating grin and the wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Screw you I just wanted help with my homework.”

His music cuts off and you hear him shuffling before he’s suddenly standing over you, one hand leaning on your desk the other on the back of your chair. He’s looking down at the paper but all you can concentrate on is how close he is right now. That stupid smell fills your nose and makes you dizzy. You hate that smell. You used to like honey on toast but now you can’t eat it and probably never will be able to again.

“You’ve got these two reversed.” He points to two of the questions on the review sheet.

“Huh?” Is all you manage in response, sounding like a brainless moron.

“Right there.” He points again.

You give yourself a little shake before fixing the answers he’s referring to. Focus, Karkat, you’re being weird. He continues to stand there while you fill in the rest of the answers telling you when you get something wrong and helping you when you get stuck. At one point he cracks a lame joke about you two having chemistry. You roll your eyes but when he laughs you can feel his warm breath on the back of your neck and it makes you shiver. When you’re finished you thank him and he goes back to his computer.

You’re prepared to take a look at your Latin work when there’s an insistent knock on the door. You get up to answer it and are kind of shocked to see Vriska. She’s in pajamas, hair wet and without makeup. This is probably the first time you’ve seen her without makeup. She’s prettier without the blue lips.

“Put your shoes on, Vantas. You’re going on a rescue mission.” She says, pointing a finger at your chest.

“I’m what?”

“Tavros was on his way back from the library and some assholes wheeled him onto a patch of ice. He doesn’t have the necessary winter tires on his chair right now and can’t move. I’d go but my hair is wet and I’m not going to get sick.”

You sigh and flop back in your chair to slip your shoes on. Sollux, who has heard everything, grabs his jacket.

“Where is he?” He asks.

“Near the library still. He says he didn’t get far on the path when they stopped him.”

Sollux is out the door first and headed down the hallway as you stop to lock the door. You eye Vriska and can’t help noticing that she’s smiling. Not a normal mischievous Vriska smile, more thoughtful. When she catches you staring she snaps out of it.

“Get your ass moving, Vantas! It’s freezing out there!” she barks before turning and heading to the stairs.

You jog to catch up with Sollux but he’s walking quickly so you don’t get to slow that much. He looks pissed. He should be. You’re pissed. Tavros used to be this football star that got so much respect and now people treat him like he’s there for their entertainment. He’s possibly one of the nicest guys you’ve ever met and it disgusts you that people treat him this way just because he’s in a chair. The only thing that changed about your friendship after the accident is that you took the handicap elevator with him instead of the stairs. And for once you’re looking down at someone during a conversation. It doesn’t make sense that others’ view of him could change from champion to loser in a month’s time.

As you get closer to the library you can see him sliding around the patch of ice as he tries to move forward to no avail. His eyes practically light up when he sees you and you swear you can see tears there even in the dark. You absolutely hate whoever thinks it’s alright to treat him like this.

“You ok TV?” Sollux asks as you approach.

“Yea. I’m fine.” He says but his voice is a little shaky.

“Who did this?”

“It doesn’t really matter.”

“It does matter.”

He looks down at his lap like he isn’t sure he wants to tell the truth. Carefully, you both move to stand on either side of his chair and you shuffle your feet on the ice until you’re moving him forward. As soon as his wheels are partially on the iceless path he’s able to take over and turn to face you two. He looks embarrassed and pretty upset. His face is red though that’s probably mostly from the cold. He doesn’t have a jacket on and you wonder if he just forgot it or if they took it. You take a step toward him preparing to shed your hoodie and give it to him. It probably wouldn’t fit over his bigger arms but he could at least put it over his shoulders or something. As you move you forget you’re on ice and lose your footing. As you slip you know you’re going to fall having no time to catch yourself. Thankfully Sollux sees your mistake and grabs hold of you under your arms. You fall mostly into his chest but luckily he’s already stepped off the ice and is able to fully support you while you correct yourself. It takes you a minute to process what has happened. Your face is against his chest, his arms are practically around you and that scent is surrounding you again. You can’t help thinking this is how you should have felt when you hugged Jade. Pushing that thought away you move your feet from the ice and pull away from him.

“Be more careful.” He says. For some reason you can’t come up with a witty response. You’re too flustered.

He beats you to Tavros and gives him his jacket before grabbing hold of the back of his chair and pushing him in the direction of the junior building. You hesitate. What the hell is wrong with you? You were stupid and slipped and he’d caught you. It hadn’t been a hug and it hadn’t been on purpose. Why are you even comparing it to your hug with Jade? That’s completely different. Jade is someone you like Sollux is…someone you barely tolerate. They stop and look back at you and you finally start following a few steps behind. You really need some time to yourself. Maybe spend the weekend with friends and away from Sollux and Jade. That probably means not seeing John as well.

Back at the dorm building Sollux says he’s going to escort Tavros back to his room. You nod and go back to your own. You’re suddenly very exhausted and Latin homework is the farthest thing from your mind. Instead you slip on your shoes and fall face first into bed. You pull your hoodie up to just under your eyes and try to think about anything at all that isn’t your roommate. You take a deep breath through your nose but this proves to be a bad idea. You’d only been close to him for a minute but his scent is stuck to the material. Having the moment alone you stay like that and breathe in again. You’re hoping to think of the honey on toast your dad used to give you in the morning before you left for grade school. Unfortunately you instead think of the way Sollux’s arms felt around your back, the way his breath tickled the back of your neck, the way his arm drooped across your shoulders and the feel of his lips on yours. You stop short of the dream when you hear the door open. Sitting up quickly enough to give you a head rush, you fling off your hoodie and try to remove the images that are still clouding your brain.

He drops into his chair with a sigh. “This can’t keep happening to him. Especially with the weather getting so cold. We need to start escorting him everywhere to make sure he’s safe until he tells us who has been bullying him.”

“Hm.” You’d meant to say that you agree but that’s all that makes it past your dry lips.

“I figure we can work out a schedule with the others. Do you think GZ would help?”

“He’s head of heels for the guy. Of course he’ll help.”

Sollux doesn’t say anything to that. He just stares at you. Everyone knows that Gamzee has a thing for Tavros. It’s not like you just told him some earth shattering secret so why is he looking at you like that? It’s making you uncomfortable and you need to turn away.

“I’m going to bed.” You say to break the silence. Pulling up the covers you burrow underneath and turn your back to the rest of the room if for no other reason than to get away from him.

You hear him moving around as he kicks off his shoes, sits on his bed and wakes up his laptop. A second later you hear the clacking of his keyboard. You try to focus on falling asleep but you find yourself listening instead. Every time he sighs, every click of his mouse, and the rustling of sheets when he adjusts his sitting position. Yes you definitely need some time away from him. There is clearly something very wrong with you and you need to sort it out before it gets any worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm so I should probably mention...Crossing Wires takes place before winter break. Late November, early December. I realize John's birthday isn't until April but I'm moving his birthday to make this bit of the fic work. I’ll also being using the really lame “but it’s an AU” excuse.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for so many views, kudos, comments, likes, etc. I’m sorry it takes me so long to update. Real life gets in the way, you know? I’ll try to update more frequently. Thank you so much for beta reading, Chaz!

You’re woken up sometime in the night by someone pounding at your door. You groan and roll over, trying to see through sleep blurred eyes what time it is. It takes a few seconds for the numbers on your alarm clock to shift from a bright red blobs into actual digits. 4:16am is flashing at you making you groan again. There’s no class today, it’s fucking Saturday, why the hell would someone be awake at 4am? Then again, you guess some people would stay up that late and sleep all day. Though they’d regret that tremendously on Monday morning. You glance across the room at Sollux to see he’s fallen asleep curled up next to his laptop. It’s still open though the screen has gone black. From the way he’s slumped on his side you’d guess he crashed while working on whatever it is his current project is. You sit up and click your bedside lamp on to the lowest setting so only a soft orange glow fills your half of the room. The person outside knocks again and you stand, shuffling across the room still feeling half asleep.

“Stop fucking knocking. You’ll wake the whole damn floor.” You grumble as you pull the door open with more force than necessary.

Standing in the hallway with a big dopey grin, smeared face paint, and a peace offering in the form of a bottle of Faygo, is Gamzee. You’re still annoyed with him, but you try to push that away because let’s face it, he’s one of your only real friend here. Sure you’ve got the others you hang out with, but when it comes down to it you’re pretty sure this idiot is the only one who would always have your back even if you did something unforgivable. Even if he is high most of the time and would end up fumbling around and probably mess shit up worse.

You swat away the Faygo and give him a stern glare. “What are you doing in the junior building at 4am knocking on my door?”

“I up and got in a fight with my motherfucking roommate and he kicked me out.”

His face has dropped into a frown like he believes what he just said and, wow, you really don’t want to deal with one of his episodes right now. You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose hopefully warding off the oncoming headache. “Gamzee.” You fight to keep your voice low and even to prevent waking Sollux or your neighbors. You’d rather not have the night monitors coming to your room to lecture you. Especially since they’d send Gamzee back to his dorm without hesitation, and that just wouldn’t be a good idea right at the moment. You sigh and try again. “Gamzee, you don’t have a roommate.”

His eyes widen briefly and he shifts from one foot to the other, back straightening slightly for a moment before returning to his usual slump. He’s looking past you, but you’re pretty sure he’s not actually seeing anything. He has a look on his face that says he’s probably just snapped out of whatever daze he was in. “Are you motherfucking sure bro? There was some motherfucker in there yelling at me.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just you?” He did that sometimes, yelled at himself as if there was another person there. He’d yell for all parties that seemed to be there in his head. Sometimes his neighbors would complain, and he’d be sent to the on campus infirmary for a day or two. They always assumed it was psychological, but you’re guessing the drug use is part of it. He’s been your best friend for years and you know how he is normally. He didn’t used to be like this when he was sober 100% of the time. It’s more likely that’s he’s hallucinating due to intoxication rather than any psychological issue.

“Maybe. Shit bro are you telling me that other motherfucker wasn’t real?”

“Probably not.”

You want to sleep. You want to send him on his way and crawl back under your covers until sometime around noon. But you don’t do that because sending him back to his dorm means he’d be alone again, and being alone means he’d probably hallucinate again and have to spend the next few days being monitored in the infirmary. You sigh and lean against the door, moving out of the way so he can come in.

“You can stay, but you better not wake Captor. I don’t want to listen to his bitching.” You close the door and grab some extra blankets out of your closet. You started keeping these for nights like this. They also come in handy when crashing in someone else’s dorm. Not that you’ve had to do that recently.

He’s stripped off his hoodie, abandon the Faygo on your desk and is now straddling the chair while you spread out enough blankets to make a thick padded makeshift bed. You throw the small cushion you’d picked up a while ago near the top.  Before you go to lay back down, you find yourself next to Sollux’s bed staring down at him. He’s sleeping at an awful angle, still in his jeans and glasses, and uncovered in the freezing room. Well, you’re already taking care of one idiot tonight. You close his laptop and set it on his bedside table, then spread one of his blankets over him. He shifts into what appears to be a more comfortable position, no longer having to accommodate the laptop. The last thing you do is take off his glasses, folding them and placing them on the bedside table as well. You stare at him for a minute. It’s a little creepy watching someone while they sleep but it’s the only time you can get away with it. You’re still confused about what exactly you’re feeling and why his scent gets you so riled up. He’s not all together bad looking. Maybe you’re a little attracted to him, but not in a sexual way. So why the dreams and over reactions?

Gamzee spreads out on the floor, and you return to your bed, turning off the light and laying down, hoping to return to your peaceful slumber. You’ve almost dozed off when you hear faint movement and the bed dips with extra weight. You open one eye to see Gamzee climbing into your bed next to you. You move over until your back is against the wall so you can both fit without him falling off in the middle of the night. You’d been expecting this. He likes to be close to people. It’s one of the reasons he’s always hanging on you and Tavros. Sometimes he needs to touch someone to make sure they’re real. You don’t object when his arms encircle you and he cuddles you close to his chest. And you don’t hit him or yell at him when he presses his lips to yours. There’s nothing romantic or sexual about Gamzee kisses. They’re for comfort, his and on some occasions yours. It’s a ghost kiss that only lasts a moment. You enjoy the extra warmth as it’s extremely cold out, and slip into a comfortable slumber.

\----

You don’t wake again until nearly eight. Your back hurts from curling up next to Gamzee all night, and you’re pretty sure his knee was in your stomach for a portion of the night. You stiffly climb over his sleeping body strewn out across the bed, stretching once you’re on two feet. It takes you a minute before you hear the quiet clacking of a keyboard on the other side of the room. Sollux is sitting in nearly the same position he’d been in the night before, legs curled up under him, laptop precariously perch on his knees, back hunched over the keyboard. You find yourself wondering how he holds that position for so long. You clear your throat and he peeks over the top of his laptop at you.

“GZ not feeling well?” He asks, eyes turning back to his laptop screen.

“Yea, he came by last night. You were already asleep, otherwise I would have asked if it was ok. Cause, ya know, that’s what you do when you have a guest.” You don’t think he’s heard you until he snickers.

“Does that mean you two got busy last night?” He smirks, looking up at you for only a second.

“Fuck you. I don’t feel the need to sleep with every one of my friends.”

“Hey now, I don’t sleep with all of my friends.”

“Name one.”

“You.”

It takes you a moment to process this. You and Sollux…friends? Sure you’d been friendlier recently but you aren’t really sure you’ve considered it a friendship just yet. Especially with all these weird feelings and the desire to distance yourself from him. You have been getting along a bit better and no longer feel the need to smack him every few hours. So…friends. You think you can live with that.

Gamzee snores loudly in his sleep and you both look at him. His body covers most of your bed, one leg hanging off the side. He looks ridiculous. You roll your eyes and gather your shower things. You didn’t get a chance to shower yesterday and you feel pretty gross. Turning back to your sleeping friend, you briefly wonder if it’s alright to leave him alone even for a few minutes after his episode last night. You turn to Sollux, who is watching you.

“I’m going to shower. If he wakes up tell him I’ll be right back.” You say, throwing your towel over your shoulder.

“Sure.” He responds, and you’re out the door.

You’re still pretty tired and the threat of a headache is looming around your eyes and forehead. If you hadn’t been so uncomfortable you’d probably still be asleep. It was almost an hour before you managed to doze off again after Gamzee showed up. Typically when you’re woken up from a sound sleep you struggle to drop off again into the land of the unconscious. His snoring didn’t help. When you get the bathroom you’re met with steam and the smell of sweat from at least forty teenage boys. It’s quite like the smell of the locker rooms attached to the gymnasium. Although those showers are used much less frequently. You tend to enjoy the near solitude the separate cubical here can provide, to the close together shower blocks of the boys locker room. Despite the shocking number of people showering this early on a Saturday, you manage to find an empty shower near the back of the room. You slip into the disrobing section, closing the curtain behind you and making sure the hooks were properly placed in the waiting eyes on either side. If you’re not careful others have been known to rip open the curtains and reveal you half naked (or fully in the nude if you were really unlucky) to the rest of the room. It’s never happened to you, but you take the extra precautions just to be safe from possibly embarrassing scenarios.

As you’re taking your shirt off you catch a whiff of a scent on the fabric that you’re not used to. Maybe it’s from Gamzee? Usually he smells disgustingly of weed and cigarette smoke and that definitely wasn’t it. In your groggy state it takes you longer than it normally would to identify the smell. It’s faded having been rubbed off and mostly replaced with your own smell, and maybe a little bit of Gamzee, but it’s undeniably the smell of honey. You freeze having suddenly remembered last night. All of the sensations from the night before flood your memory. You quickly finish undressing, wanting to get away from the smell, and step into the stream of hot water. When you close your eyes you can practically feel his body against yours when he’d stopped you from falling. You remember how close he’d been when helping you with your homework, and the way his breath felt when it ruffled your hair a bit and warmed your skin. Your whole body tingles, and when you try to will the thoughts away they persist until you’re remembering your dream.

Now you’re remembering kissing him. It had been so undeniably real. You can still feel his lips against your and his hands tangling in your hair. You can feel his body beneath your hands and the way his hair felt between your fingers. It felt a little coarse and maybe in need of a wash, but so soft that you just want to bury yourself in it. Why did it have to be him that was plaguing you like this? Why couldn’t you just dream about Jade? Having a crush on her was so much easier than whatever this is. You didn’t dream about her. Not even about kissing her. You just wanted to hold her hand, hug her and sit with her while she worked on robots. You’ve never gotten dizzy just from smelling her signature scent. On one specific overnight visit to the Egbert-Harley home you had been given her extra pillow to sleep with. When John had gone to the bathroom to brush his teeth you had hugged the pillow close but you hadn’t even noticed that it smelled of her. It was almost as if Captor’s repulsive scent was setting off some kind of hidden kink you didn’t know existed before now.

Your mind wanders to the second dream when he’d been on top of you grinding his hips into yours and you can’t help remembering the way it had felt. His hand resting on your cheek, his other hand on your hip. He was kissing your lips, then your neck. It was as if he had four hands the way they were everywhere on your body. Every rock of his hips had sent electricity jolting through your body and escaping out your fingertips that were pressed into his back. You shudder at the memory and your knees wobble. It’s only now that you realize you’ve been leaning against the shower wall for support. The water is barely even reaching you. You need to stop yourself from getting so worked up like this. As it is all of your blood is rushing south and you will not masturbate to thoughts of Sollux Captor! Not to mention you’re in the public bathrooms and there are other people around. You quickly wash, only slowing to make sure your hair has come clean, and switch off the hot water until the cold rains down on you like bits of sharp ice. Every part of you is screaming to turn off the water and get away from the cold, but you stand your ground and ball your hands into fists until you’re sure you’re leaving little crescent shapes in your palms. As soon as you’re confident your problem has subsided, you turn off the cold and step into the small changing cubical to dry off and get dressed. You dread going back to your room, especially after letting your thoughts get away from you like that, and wouldn’t bother if you hadn’t left Gamzee there.

As you exit the bathroom you very nearly run into Tavros. He looks up at you sheepishly with an unconvincing smile. His cheeks are tinted red and you suspect he’s still embarrassed about last night, until you see Vriska and John trailing behind him. Vriska is still in her pajamas and stifling a yawn into her hand. John, on the other hand, is perky and smiling like he just won the lottery.

“Morning, Karkat!” John beams practically blinding you with his bright mood.

“What is it with your family and being so energetic?” You ask, not really expecting an answer.

“We’re on guard duty, we have to be energetic.” He does some lame superhero pose like he’s mimicking some stupid hero from one of his beloved action flicks. You’d roll your eyes if you weren’t sure it would send a stab of pain to your forming headache.

“Remind me why I was needed for this? It’s not like I can go in there.” Vriska yawns again.

“We’re taking our shifts together, remember? Aren’t you happy to spend time with me?” He sticks out his bottom lip in a fake pout. She does roll her eyes.

“Just hurry up and get him cleaned up so I can go back to sleep.” She gripes, turning on her heel and heading down the hall toward your room. You hadn’t exactly invited her, but Vriska kind of just does whatever she wants.

With a quick goodbye to John and Tavros, you follow her to your room where she’s left the door open having not even bothered to knock. You close it behind you and put your shower things back where they belong. Gamzee is awake and sitting up on your bed, but is no less spread out than he was before. This is one of the rare moments when he’s sober since he’d most likely slept off whatever was in his system. He looks a little out of it, but then again when doesn’t he?

“Screw you for giving us the morning shift, Captor.” Vriska says, claiming his desk chair.

“John volunteered.” He replies without missing a beat in his typing.

“Volunteered for what?” Gamzee asks, sounding only a little confused.

“Tavros guard duty. Those assholes are messing with him again, so Sollux here got it in his head that at least one of us should be with him at all times.” Vriska explains, the irritation in her voice most likely brought on from being woken up and not disregard to Tavros’ safety.

“Again?” Gamzee asks.

“I told you he was being bullied you just don’t listen.” You say, plopping down into your own desk chair. “Don’t you remember the conversation we had about this?”

He shakes his head but his confusion seems to be giving way to anger. Angry _and_ sober Gamzee is not something you want to see. He has a horrible temper and tends to act before thinking, usually with violence. Then again, maybe angry Gamzee is exactly what you need right now. “What motherfucker has been bullying my Tavbro?” He asks through clenched teeth.

“We don’t know. He won’t tell us.” Sollux actually stops and puts his laptop aside. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yea I motherfucking like him and I don’t take too kindly to things I like being messed up by fuckers who shouldn’t even be lookin’ at him.”

“Maybe we should schedule you for Tavros lookout.” Vriska suggests, looking much more awake and interested.

“No.” You speak up before Gamzee can open his mouth. “Not while he’s sober at least.”

“Why not? He might be able to find the guys and stop them.” Sollux says, raising his eyebrows at you in annoyance rather than the amused manner he usually directs at you.

“I said no.”

“Don’t you want them to leave Tavros alone?”

“Of course I want it to fucking stop but not with Gamzee like this. The last person that made him mad when he was sober is a lot worse off than Tavros is now. He’s almost eighteen, and I’m not going to let him get in trouble because of some stupid high school bullies!” You shout, suddenly feeling very angry. You’ve known Gamzee a long time. You’ve seen what he can do and how he gets. On a few occasions you’ve been on the receiving end of one of his punches. Mostly you made it out with bruises, a busted lip and black eye, but once he had very nearly broken your jaw. It hurt to talk, eat and cough for nearly three weeks. All of those times he’d been angry over little things, things that were so insignificant you can’t even remember them now. Allowing him near the people that have been bullying the guy he’s basically in love with is out of the question. Only God knows what he’d do to them if given the chance. Even high as a kite he’d do irreversible damage.

The four of you have been sitting in silence for close to five minutes now with Gamzee staring at you and the other two switching between the two of you. You try to calm yourself and relax a bit. You start by releasing the hold you have on the sleeve of your sweater and taking several deep breaths.

“Alright, we won’t schedule Gamzee.” Sollux says in defeat.

“I want to motherfucking help.” Gamzee sounds less angry, but still irritated.

“You can come with me on my shifts then.” You sigh. There has been far too much excitement today. It’s not even noon and you’re done with Saturday. You want to kick them all out (even Sollux) and fall into a hibernation that would make bears around the world envious.

The door opens and John is standing there with that same dopey grin on his face. His eyes land of Vriska, who is back to looking tired and annoyed. “Tavros is hungry, are you ready to go grab some food?” He asks.

“Are you fucking serious, John?” She asks, a threatening look in her eyes that she’ll do unspeakable things to him if he makes that into a joke. “I’m not even fully awake. Do I look like I’m ready to go eat?”

“I’ll take him.” You speak up, partially to avoid their potential fight, but also get away from everyone. You wanted to be alone today and already the universe is working against you.

You push past John to get out into the hall, your shoes already on your feet. It doesn’t surprise you at all when Gamzee appears beside you. You had told him he could come with you after all. There’s not a bit of protest when you grab hold of his chair and start walking. The three of you are quiet as you push Tavros from the junior building and toward the cafeteria. Gamzee looks at the face of every person you pass, daring them to say something to Tavros. Of course they don’t know his intentions, so he mostly just creeps them out.

The cafeteria smells like butter and syrup, making your stomach growl and crave a stack of pancakes. You briefly wish they were homemade instead of freezer to microwave, spongy discs. Either way they would satisfy your cravings until you could get over to casa de Egbert for some of his dad’s promised baked goods. He’d talked about going out for a visit soon and invited you to come along. Hell fucking yes. Spending time with his dad is a million times better than your own family. His dad is an excellent baker who always fills you up with food and sends you home with a doggie bag. John and Jade’s house is a hell of a lot closer to campus than your own. It only takes about twenty minutes to get there. They’d chosen to live on campus for the “experience” or something. Their dad agreed that it was good to prepare for college living in any way possible and supported them fully.

Once at a mostly unoccupied table, you drowned your pancakes in six little packs of syrup and cut into them, ignoring the rubbery eggs next to them. Tavros and Gamzee are quiet, but you aren’t complaining. It allows you to pretend you’re alone. Gamzee sat beside him, glancing around the room every few seconds to catch anyone staring at him. He was being overly paranoid. No one was going to mess with him as long as he wasn’t alone. Every attack so far had taken place when he’d been caught alone and vulnerable. Tavros is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, which he’d reminded you all about a thousand times shortly after the accident. That didn’t change that he couldn’t really fight back when he was stuck in his chair and the assailant was behind him, holding the handles. He was completely at their mercy and it just wasn’t fair.

You find yourself getting worked up again and take a deep breath to calm yourself. Tavros is done eating, so you chug the rest of your juice and stand, grabbing both trays. You dump the styrofoam plates in the trash and return to retrieve your friends only to find Gamzee has a tight hold on his chair this time. You walk alongside them out of the building. The air is thick with tension. No one knows what to say to one another and the silence has finally taken its toll.

“Where do you need to go now?” You ask, trying to remove the tired edge from your voice.

“Back to my room is fine. I’ll be ok in there. I really don’t want to inconvenience anyone.” His voice is low as he rings his hands together anxiously.

“Fuck that. Don’t let them take away your freedom. Tell us where you need to go and we’ll take you.”

“I, uh, need a book from the library. I was going to get it last night but ended up forgetting it when they showed up.”

You alter your course toward the library rather than the dorms. The patch of ice from last night has been mostly melted away by rock salt, and you may have landed your footfalls a bit more roughly than needed to break up the remaining ice. Fuck them for stranding him like that without a coat in the freezing weather. It’s basically winter already, the first snow fall looming over you like a threat. What kind of human being does that to another? You ignore the tugging reminder of what else took place on that patch of ice last night. There’s no need to go there again.

You keep your eye on Gamzee while you’re together. He’s still glaring at every person to pass and his knuckles have gone white from the grip he has on the chair handles. In the library he retrieves every book Tavros needs and offers to carry them until Tavros convinces him he’s alright. From there you take him to the little coffee shop just off campus, where you pay for the three of you. The tension melts away a bit in the warm shop as you sit and chat about classes and friends. You discuss birthday gifts for John, his birthday only a week away by this point, and whether or not the party will suck. After taking some teasing from the other two you snap and pledge that you won’t drink at the party. Or at least won’t get drunk. Gamzee looks happy. You don’t think he’s ever spent time like this with Tavros; fully coherent and without a large group to hog the attention. Tavros also seems fairly comfortable talking with him. At least someone’s love life appears to be moving somewhat forward. On the way back to campus you run into John and a much more awake Vriska.

“Any signs of the assholes yet?” John asks, looking between the three of you for an answer.

“If we’ve seen them, how would we know? They’re not going to come around with us here. Even if we were to pass them I don’t think Tav here would even tell us.” You glance down at Tavros to see his gaze is on his hands again.

“Well, we can take him now. I figured we could go shopping or something. Get away from here for a little while. You guys want to come?”

“Nah, I’m going back to my room for a while.” You say, biting back the yawn that tries to escape. You’re hoping you can spend the rest of the day in bed drifting in and out of consciousness.

Gamzee shakes his head and releases his grip on the chair. John takes the handles and the three of them set off toward the parking lot with a wave. You turn to your dopey friend to find him staring after them looking lost. You’ve thought for a about a week or so now that Tavros’ feelings for John had changed. The looks he gives him, the way he’ll stop talking and fidget around when John is in the room. You’re not exactly sure what changed but it was hard to miss. Apparently Gamzee agreed.

“You okay?” You ask, bumping his arm with your own. He seemed to snap out of his daze.

“I think Tav likes that motherfucker.” He says with a sigh, shoving his now empty hands into his pockets.

“Maybe. I always thought he hated John.”

He shrugs and turns toward the dorm buildings. “I think I’m gonna be spendin’ the rest of my day in my room. Maybe go for a walk.”

He’ll probably do just about anything at this point to distract himself from thoughts of Tavros. You wonder if it’s alright to leave him alone right now. Based on past experiences, the odds of him doings something permanently harmful were pretty slim. Still, that doesn’t mean this time will be the same.

“Want some company?” You ask, silencing the part of your brain that begging you to just go back to bed.

“I think I need to spend some time alone with my motherfucking self.” He doesn’t look at you as he hunches his shoulders and picks up his pace.

“Text me if you need anything.” You say, hoping that he actually does this time. There’s a good chance he’ll end up at your door again tonight. He nods as you split ways to go to the separate dorm buildings. You pause at the door, watching him across the wide space until he disappears behind closed doors. It would be nice if he would talk to you instead of hiding away like that. You’re going through pretty much the same thing. After you take a nap you’re tempted to force him into a night of ice cream and complaining about unrequited love. That’s what they do in the movies, right?

Back in your dorm, you find Sollux is still in the same position on his bed with his laptop. He probably hasn’t moved all day meaning he probably hasn’t eaten anything either. You grab a bag of pretzels and throw them at him before you kick off your shoes and face plant into your pillow. Sollux looks up at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Tired?” He asks.

“Extremely. So shut your fucking mouth and let me sleep for a few hours.”

“Wake you for dinner?”

“Yes please.”

You hear a little, breathy laugh and the sound of the bag of pretzels opening. You’re suddenly glad your face is turned away from him because you can’t stop the tiny smile that pulls at your lips. You suddenly feel…very comfortable. You’re still worried about Tavros and Gamzee, and you’re still heartbroken over Jade but maybe, just maybe, all of that doesn’t have to matter right now.

\---------

The next few days are full of escorting Tavros around campus and checking in on Gamzee. You have a few classes with Tav, making your shifts a little easier. John takes him down to the showers in the morning, you all meet for breakfast, and he’s then passed to Sollux who has first period with him. From there he goes to Vriska, then you for two classes, then back to Sollux, and Rose and Kanaya alternate for the last few classes. At dinner on Monday he looks exhausted. No doubt your classmates noticed all of his babysitters. He was usually alone in the halls and now he was constantly in the hands of others. No one knew why just yet but the questions were sure to come.

By Tuesday Tavros guard duty has become a regular part of your routine. You don’t hesitate or nearly forget to get him during your classes together like you did on Monday. He still looks ashamed but actually talks to you now. Little by little you’re getting to know him better. He’s into Pokémon, LARPING, and table top gaming. You had no idea before and you kind of feel bad for not knowing these little things about him. You’ve never spent a lot time alone with him before, just little talks here and there when you ran into each other in the hallway. You’d be lying if you said you don’t like the guy but you’d never really considered him a friend before. Maybe an acquaintance at best. No matter how frustrating this was for the two of you, at least it was giving you a chance to get closer. You’ve got a math test coming up so the two of you have made plans to study together in the library after class and before dinner.

You meet up with him outside of his last class and take him to the library. On the way you notice him flinch when one of the football players across the lawn shouts something to another. They were his teammates, or at least they used to be, so why would he be startled by them? You write it off as nerves, convincing yourself that he hadn’t looked at who the voice had come from. Inside the library there’s a nice secluded table in the back on the second floor that everyone loves. You have to practically run to get there before anyone else but you somehow manage to snag it first. A few disappointed students peek around the corner only to leave looking disappointed. You both pull out your math textbooks and get to work.

You’re both quiet as you work, the only sound from the turning of pages and pencil drags across paper. Math isn’t that bad. You’re actually pretty decent at math. It’s your best subject, the highest grade on your report card. It’s the one thing you’re better at than your brother. Probably the only thing that makes your dad proud. Not that you care, you’re not seeking his approval. You just like math.

A while later the equations, word problems and fractions begin to swirl together into one big blob in the center of the page and you decide it’s time for a break. You look up to get Tavros’ attention only to find he looks distracted. His notebook is only filled with three answers. It’s been at least twenty minutes since you first sat down and he didn’t look like he was struggling with the work. He almost seems worried or anxious.

“You didn’t see them did you?” You ask, checking your surroundings for anyone lurking about.

“Huh? Oh no. I was just thinking.”

“About?” You usually aren’t this intrusive with other’s lives but you hardly know him and are curious. If he really doesn’t want to talk about it he’ll say something, right?

“Um, well…John and Vriska.” He admits, a light tint coming to his cheeks as he focuses his eyes on the book in front of him without actually seeing the words on the page. He pauses like he’s waiting for you to say something. “They’re happy together, right?”

“Yea. Seems like it anyway.”

“So they’ll probably be together for a while.”

“Probably. Do you still have feelings for Vriska, or something?”

“No. Not Vriska.”

Ah, you’d thought so. He went from arguing with John and glaring at him, to spending time with him, blushing in his presence, and watching him longingly. “So you like John then?”

He jolts, like he’d forgotten you were there, then nods. He tucks his bottom lip into his mouth and underneath his teeth, chewing on the flesh. It was kind of hard to miss. “I know it’s stupid. Why do we fall for people who will never like us the same way?”

“I’m not sure.” You think about Jade and almost bring her up, but this isn’t about you. “Ask Gamzee.” You respond instead. That may have been a little bit of a dig at him but Gamzee has hardly left his room since Saturday and it’s indirectly Tav’s fault.

He turns his face farther away from you, trying to hide the guilt that shows in his expression. “I know I’m not being fair to him. I’m not trying to ignore him. I just don’t know how to act around him. He’s just so….”

“Clingy? In your face? High all the time?”

“Yea.”

“He gets easier to deal with when you’ve known him for a while.”

“I guess. I do like him. I mean, uh, he’s good looking and all. I actually had a little crush on him when I was a sophomore. Don’t tell him that though.”

“Why don’t you give him a shot then? At least get to know him better. Be his friend.”

“I guess but…”

“Look Tavros, no offense but unless you’re hiding boobs under that Pokémon shirt, John isn’t going to see you as anything more than a friend. He’s not into guys and I don’t see that changing any time soon. It sucks to have to move on, believe me, but it’s better than pining after someone who’s taken and not interested.”

“Is that what happened to you? With, uh, Jade? Is that why you’re getting along better with Sollux now? You decided to give him a chance?”

You sputter, looking for words, your brain firing off blanks while your eyes open so wide you wouldn’t be surprised if they popped right out. “Sollux and I are _friends_. What do you mean ‘give him a chance’? He doesn’t like me and I sure as fuck don’t like him. I may have had a little unrequited thing for Jade but that’s over and there is absolutely no one I’m interested in right now. What is it with everyone trying to push me into a relationship with that jackass?”

He’s smiling a little when you focus on him again. “Sorry, I just kind of…assumed.”

“Well you assumed wrong. Now shut your fucking noise maker and study.”

There’s a silent few minutes that passes between you as you do your homework, only broken by a few mumbled math questions. By the time you’re done your brain feels fuzzy and you’re pretty sure you’ll scream if you see another math problem for a while. After your little chat he got back to work and managed to finish all of the assigned questions. He also seems to be feeling a little better. Perhaps the harsh truth was required every once in a while.

“Want to head to dinner?” You ask, packing up your bag.

“Yea.” He stretches before putting his own things away. “Maybe I’ll take your advice.” He says as you wait for the elevator. “I’ll try spending some time with Gamzee, uh, for a while.”

“At the very least I’m sure you guys could be friends. You seem to like some of the same things.”

He nods and doesn’t speak again on the short ride down to the first floor of the library. You wonder if you should go to Gamzee and tell him the potentially good news. He’s been in a funk since Saturday and the possibility of friendship with the boy of his dreams might cheer him up a little bit. He’s usually really difficult to cheer up and tends to be self-destructive and shuts you out. You almost hope that he did smoke something to calm himself down. It’s dangerous when he’s sober. He’s unpredictable and actually has time to think out exactly what he wants to do.

Speak of the devil, when you exit the library you find him leaning against the rail of the stairs smoking a cigarette right out in the open. He doesn’t notice either of you so you release Tav’s chair and march over to him. When he finally sees you he smiles, not a dopey smile, just a regular smile. He’s at least somewhat sober.

“Are you trying to get caught? You’re not eighteen yet shit for brains, you get caught smoking on campus and you’re in huge trouble.” You lecture, poking him in the chest.

“Who cares? This is my last year here anyway.”

You sigh. “Why are you over here anyway?”

“Kanaya told me I could find you here. She said you were all up and studyin’ with Tav over here.” He looks up at the other boy in question and nods, his smile turning soft. “Hey Tav.”

You hear Tav make a straggled noise that you think is supposed to be a “hi” followed immediately by a string of silent curses.

“Yea we just finished. Why didn’t you just come in, though? It’s 2 degrees out here.”

“I just needed some time to…think.” He looks down at his shoes and appears to zone out for a minute. “There’s a lot going on up in here.” He taps the side of his head with the hand still holding his forgotten cigarette.

“Next time try thinking inside. I’m not going to defrost you when you turn into a Gamzee-cicle.”

He laughs and finally drops the cigarette, stomping it out with the toe of his shoe. You just stare at him, unsure of what you should say. He came looking for you but he either forgot why or doesn’t want to say with Tavros right there. You turn back to him, grabbing hold of his chair, and begin to wheel him down the ramp, Gamzee right behind you. It’s too cold to just stand there like a group of idiots waiting for someone to say something.

“Where are y’all headed now?” Gamzee asks, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it.

You wave a hand in front of your face to disperse the smoke that blows your way. “Dinner.” You say, glancing at him sidelong as you walk. “Are you coming with us?”

“I don’t know man.” He shrugs.

Tavros clears his throat and you almost don’t hear him when he speaks. “You should. Come with us that is. If you, uh, want to.”

Gamzee falters in his steps like he forgot how to walk for a second. You glance at him again to see his eyes are opened wide, an odd sight when it comes to Gamzee, and his lips go from fallen agape to smiling in the matter of seconds.

“Well, I can’t say no when my Tavbro is asking, can I?” He nudges you aside and takes hold of his chair as if it’s some sort of connection to him.

Once again, someone else’s love life begins to make sense before your own. How can you even focus on your terrible attempts at a relationship when you’re too busy helping all of your idiot friends fix theirs? You haven’t told a single one of them about your weird thoughts and dreams about Sollux and how you never had them with Jade. You’ve kept your entire ordeal a secret, even though some of them somehow managed to figure out parts of it. Things would be easier if you could have just one damn minute to yourself to think things over and maybe come to some sort of realization about your feelings (or lack of) for Sollux. It doesn’t make sense that he would plague your mind at every waking hour even when you’re nowhere near him. Even when what you were previously thinking about had nothing to do with him. Your name is Karkat Vantas and it’s probably time that you start being completely honest with yourself about your feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you see why it took me so long to finish this chapter? I’m really not completely happy with it but I just really wanted to get it out so I could move on. I’ve been trying to fix this thing for almost two months and this is the best that I’ve been able to do. I promise that I’ll try to make the next chapter better. I’ve already started it and so far like it ahellofalot better than this one. Hopefully it won’t take me nearly as long to finish it though.  
> Btw…if you guys want updates on the progress of this fic, you can either check out my tumblr (melancholymisfit) or track the “crossing wires fic” tag. I warn you that I post and reblog a lot of useless shit so it’s probably safer to just track the tag.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter! And it only took me four months to write! Sorry about that. I was on a temporary hiatus but I’m back. Don’t get your hopes up for this chapter though. It’s pretty much filler.

You are Sollux Captor and you may be nursing a slightly cracked heart. When you started rooming with Karkat you had subsequently met all of his friends. John is his best bro, obviously. Vriska is the tag along girlfriend that may or may not actually care for Karkat a lot more than she’s willing to let on. Jade is the best bro’s younger sister and also crush (or maybe past crush?) slash good friend. Kanaya is the sister without actual relation that he can’t live without. Terezi is the ex-girlfriend and now second best friend. You’re pretty sure he can’t live without her either. Then there’s Gamzee. You thought he was the goofy best friend that Karkat felt responsible for but last night…you’re certain you know what you saw. Granted you didn’t have your glasses on and it was extremely dark but there was also that tiny smack of the lips.

You don’t really know what time you fell asleep. Sometime around nine you’d started slowly shifting into a laying position with your laptop climbing up from your knees, to your stomach, to your chest. Eventually it ended up next to you and you just conked right the fuck out. The next thing you knew you felt hands on the side of your face and then your glasses were gone. You stole a peek into the blurry darkness and saw Karkat throwing a blanket over top of you and then just staring. You don’t think he realized that your eyes were open or that you were staring right back up at him. If you’d had better lighting and your glasses you’d have been able to tell what expression he was directing at you but it was impossible. You wondered briefly if it was all a dream until you heard movement not coming from either of you and that jarred you the rest of the way awake. Karkat turned away from you and went to his own bed. A second later you saw a tall, lanky figure get up off the floor and climb into Karkat’s bed. Obviously Gamzee. He snuggled up to Karkat and then you heard it. The smacking of lips on lips. They kissed. While cuddling up in a small bed in the dark.

You never would have guessed that anything was going on between them but now you notice every little interaction between them. In the morning you’d joked and tried to play it off like you didn’t care but you wanted to ask him if something was going on. Are they secretly together? Did they really kiss or had you heard wrong? What about Jade? What about Tavros? What about you? Gamzee stirred awake while Karkat was off in the showers and you wondered if asking him was a good idea. He seemed pretty out of it and the odds of him giving coherent answers were very, very slim. You two sat in silence until Vriska burst into the room, griping about morning guard duty. You let yourself get distracted with that conversation, trying to enlist Gamzee’s help protecting Tavros and he’s all for it. Karkat, not so much. That’s the first thing you noticed. He’s so worried about his safety. There’s no doubt in your mind that he wouldn’t be that way with you. Even if they’re not together, Gamzee ranks higher than you ever will in importance to Karkat. To your dismay, they left together. You wanted to follow them but that would be crazy, right?

Instead you waited a few minutes until you were sure they were far enough away, and then booked it to the senior building. Now you’re panting quietly, catching your breath, as you walk down the long hallway of dorm room doors. When you arrive at Roxy’s door you find Aradia is already there, waiting for the blonde girl to let her in.

“Good morning Sollux. Are you joining us today?” She asks, smiling in that faintly creepy way she always does when you’re around.

“Joining you in what?”

“Movies and manicures.”

“Uh, I’m down for the movie part.”

“You might change your mind about the manicures.” She wiggles her fingers in front of your face until you bat them away. “Why do you look so down?”

“I just…it’s KK.”

“When isn’t it?”

“No kidding. It seems all of my problems of late can be traced back to him.”

“I’m sure the ladies won’t mind putting off the first movie for a little girl talk about crushes.”

“Very cute, AA.” You grin, bumping her shoulder with your own.

A second later Roxy opens the door and beams when she sees you. “Hey cutie, you gonna let us pretty up those chewed up nails of yours?” She asks.

“Not in this lifetime.”

With a fake pout, followed by a cheerful smile, she ushers you both inside. Calliope is sitting on the floor in front of the TV looking through their joint movie collection. She waves at you both before returning to her very serious job of picking out the first movie. You plop down on Roxy’s bed next to Aradia and sigh. Roxy, who had been gathering different nail polish from atop her dresser, stops and turns to look at you.

“I know that sigh. What happened?” She asks, placing the bottles of polish on her bedside table and taking the empty spot next to you.

“I think that maybe, and I’m only going off of one little thing that happened last night, that may not have even happened! Uh…I think KK might be secretly dating GZ.”

“Gamzee?” Aradia asks, pressing her hand to her chest and looking at you like you’d just told her you were going to run off with him. “What on Earth gave you that idea?”

“They might have kissed last night.”

“Might have? Baby, do you even have any proof?” Roxy asks, crossing her legs and tapping her already perfect nails on her knee.

“GZ came by last night after I fell asleep. KK woke me up when he took off my glasses.”

“Aw, he took off your glasses for you? That was sweet of him.” Aradia gushes a little.

“Yea well, they both climbed into his bed and I heard a noise that sounded like two people kissing.”

“Making out or just ‘you’re pretty much my grandmother’ goodnight kisses?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t see.”

“Then it may not have been anything.”

“Yea I guess. But he…KK just cares about him so much. It’s obvious from the way he interacts with him and protects him all the time.”

“I think we need Vriska’s input on this. She’d know best, right?” Roxy pulls her phone from her bag but you stop her.

“I wouldn’t call VK for at least another two hours.” You’d really rather not be the reason she’s woken up again. Odds are you’d end up with a hit out on you.

“I’m really looking forward to meeting this boy. I’ve had to miss all of the meetings since he joined the club, but I’m sure our meeting will be one to remember.” Roxy says fondly, taking on the expression of someone daydreaming.

“Don’t get your hopes up.” You grumble, lying back on her bed and staring at the ceiling.

“Look sweetie, that boy obviously feels something for you. Maybe there is something going on with this Gamzee guy, but I thought he liked that cutie in the wheelchair.”

“He does.”

“Then what’s there to worry about? Just get them together and your grumpy little suitor will most definitely be free for the wooing.”

“That’s easier said than done. I barely know either of them.”

“If you barely know Tav, why were you so concerned for his safety?” Aradia asks with perfect raised eyebrows.

“Because he’s important to you. And because its total bullshit that he’s being treated that way.”

“Wait, hold up. You and the cutie on two wheels know each other?” Roxy asks.

“We’ve known each other forever. His brother is actually dating my sister. They’ve been friends forever and Tav and I ended up spending a lot of time together as kids as a result. That’s actually how I met Equius too. His brother completes their trio.”

“Equius, huh? Not to change the subject, but how are things with him?”

“Ugh, I don’t know. Part of me wants to punch him in the face and the other part of me just wants to kiss him silly. Maybe both. Is that weird?”

“Nah, I understand.” You say, thinking briefly about when you’d first met Karkat.

“He comes off as a little…controlling. Like, you know that stupid myth fabricated by media that football players have to date cheerleaders? Apparently he believes in that fake rule so he’s trying to force me into being a cheerleader. That’s pretty much why our relationship hasn’t gone from occasional make out session to actually dating.” She sighs. “Of course joining the cheerleading team will allow me to spend more time with cute cheerleaders.”

“Oh? What’s this about a cute cheerleader?” Roxy leans forward on her elbows and prompts her to move on.

“To humor him I went to check out a cheerleading practice and…you know Feferi?”

“I sort of know who she is. I’ve seen her at games.” Roxy says.

“I’ve told you about her. She’s my science partner and she was my first sexual experience.” You add on, thinking of the cute bubbly girl who works part time at the aquarium.

“More on that later.” Roxy says to you before turning back to Aradia. “So, what about her?”

“Well, she kind of mesmerized me with all her flipping and twirling. I’ve always liked spending time with her but watching her out there made my heart do this strange flip. I knew immediately I was smitten with her.”

“How are you going to break it to Mr. Muscles?” Roxy asks with eyebrow wiggle.

“I don’t even know if she feels the same and he isn’t my boyfriend. For now I’m going to flirt and drop hints. We’ll see where it goes from there.”

“Man, I sure don’t envy you two. I won over my girl after two weeks.”

Calliope stands, crosses the room, and plops herself down right on Roxy’s back. Roxy lets out a little “oof” followed by a laugh. Calli’s cheeks are a bit pink and she has a scowl with no anger behind it set in place. Roxy turns her head to smile up at the smaller girl.

“As you recall darling, I was the one who confessed to you.”

“Yea but I asked you out first.”

“That doesn’t matter, I was the one who won you over.”

“Nah, you had me from day one with that cute smile of yours and rockin’ body.”

Her cheeks dusted a shade of pink making her bleached white hair stand out even more so against dark skin. Her hand slumps down beside her, she apparently intends to keep her spot atop her girlfriend, and Roxy grabs hold of it. You wish you could do that with Karkat. Hold his hand and not have to worry about him hitting you or yelling until his face turns purple. It’s like they don’t even realize how lucky they are to be able to do this simple little thing with each other.

“Now, our love lives aside, what do you think your next move will be?” Aradia asks, nudging your shoulder until your head is in her lap, her long fingers working through the snags in your hair.

“I don’t know. What do you think he’d do if I just kind of grabbed him and kissed him?” You ask, covering your eyes with both hands, bumping your glasses up onto your forehead.

“From the stories you tell, my guess would be he’d disembowel you.” Roxy says with a sigh.

“Fuuuuck.” You groan out, muffled by your hands. “I just love him so much.”

“I know baby. Love sucks and I think you need a drink. Calli, mind fishing out the bottle of wine from under the bed?”

Calliope releases her hand and hops off the bed, kneeling down to retrieve the unopened bottle. Roxy takes the opportunity to sit up and move over so Calliope can claim the now vacant spot. You slide your glasses back down onto your nose and stare up at the bottle. Pink moscato isn’t exactly your favorite but it’ll do.

“It’s going to be a bit warm. I haven’t had a chance to chill it yet but it should do just fine.” She unscrews the lid and takes a sip before handing the bottle over to Aradia.

“If you don’t mind me giving my two cents,” Calliope starts, crossing her legs and leaning forward a bit, “it seems to me the best plan of action would be to woo him. I believe everything you’ve done has certainly helped you but it’s also hurt you. He’s only going to see you as looking to get into his pants so don’t just seduce him. Make him feel special. Spend some time alone with him watching movies or going to dinner off campus. Don’t try anything physical until he gives you the go ahead so that he doesn’t just assume you’re treating him like all of the other fictional hook ups.”

You sit up, taking the offered bottle from Aradia and taking a large gulp – yea, it would definitely be better chilled – and contemplate what she’s said. Pissing him off and flirting suggestively are your go-to interactions when it comes to Karkat. Being sincere and sweet to him will be difficult but if it’ll win him over, what’s the harm in trying? You’ve already let up on him a bit so now you’ve just got to be nice all the time. It can’t be that hard, right?

A bottle of wine and a few hours later you leave their dorm room with Aradia. In the end you let them play with your nails. They’d clipped them, buffed them and painted them blue and red. You have to admit, they look much better than they did earlier this morning. You’re feeling happily light headed after the wine. It wasn’t enough to give you a buzz but you’re definitely feeling better about things. Aradia’s arm is linked with yours as you exit the senior building in search of a coffee cart. The cold immediately cuts through your jacket making you shiver. There’s a dusting of snow on the ground that wasn’t there when you’d left your dorm this morning.

“There’s no shame in enjoying nicely painted nails.” Aradia says, lacing her fingers with yours and holding up both hands to look at your nails. Hers are painted burgundy, a color which, for some reason, fits her perfectly.

“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I might take you up on the next nail painting party.”

“Maybe by then you’ll be bringing Karkat with you.”

“Yea, I doubt that. But hey, why don’t you bring Feferi?”

“I just might do that.”

To others you must look like a couple with your hands tightly clasped together and your shoulders brushing against one another. Of course you’d considered Aradia as a romantic partner years ago and you’d sort of dated a while back. You’d spent your time together practicing kissing each other more than actually dating. But when it comes down to it, she’s really your best friend. You’d met in middle school and immediately hit it off. She’s possibly the most important girl in your life. You’re not so sure she feels the same but it doesn’t really matter as long as she’s by your side.

“Oh hey, look.” She says, pointing with your joined hands to a couple off in the distance. “It looks like Tav is spending some time with Gamzee.”

“What are the odds it’s a date?” You ask, hopeful.

“I don’t know. They do look awfully chummy. Just look at the way Gamzee looks at him. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“I hope not.”

You finally find a coffee cart without a mile long line and buy a coffee for yourself and a hot chocolate for Aradia. You keep glancing at the two boys talking and laughing together near the cafeteria. It would be great if they were dating. Partly because Gamzee had been pining for him for so long but also because you selfishly want him to be involved with anyone other than Karkat. Aradia catches you staring and nudges you in the ribs.

“Want to go say hi?” She asks.

“No thanks.”

“Oh sorry, you took too long to answer.”

She drags you along behind her toward the spot where they’re chatting. To be honest, you’re not really fighting her. She’s not going to say anything she knows you don’t want her to. There’s no risk in just stopping over and saying hello. Maybe you’ll find out what their relationship is. Or, more importantly, what his relationship with Karkat is.

“Hello boys.” Aradia says cheerfully.

“Hey Aradia.” Tav grins at her and you wonder if the red in his cheeks is from Gamzee or the cold.

“It’s nice to see you two getting along. I hope we didn’t interrupt anything.”

“Oh, uh, yea. I mean, no. We’re just talking.”

“Sol and I just thought we’d say hi. See what you two are up to.”

“Nothing really. We were just talking about our favorite games and, uh,” Tav looks down at his lap and fiddles with a tear in his sweater sleeve, “making plans to maybe play sometime.”

“Well, doesn’t that sound nice?” She grins up at you and you roll your eyes.

Aradia and Tavros continue their chat about weekend plans while you try not to look awkward as you sip on your still-too-hot-to-drink coffee. You’re not sure what you should say to either of them. If not for Aradia’s death grip on your hand, you probably would have made an excuse and walked away by now. Though maybe it’s best that she is holding you there. A fifth is about the join your party in the form of a short, grumpy looking roommate.

“It’s too fucking cold out here. Why the hell did we have to meet outside instead of, I don’t know, ten feet to your right inside the warm cafeteria?” He grumbles as he approaches.

You bite your tongue to stop yourself from saying anything that might upset him. Be nice, don’t tease. He stops across from you, between Gamzee and Tavros, and looks around the group. His eyes land on you for a brief pause before they travel a few inches down.

“What is that?” He asks, pointing to the cup in your hand.

“Coffee.” You say, biting back a sarcastic remark.

“What’s in it?”

“Sugar.”

“Good enough.” He reaches for it and you let him take it. At first he’s just using it to warm his hands and then he’s taking a large gulp from it.

Two weeks ago he wouldn’t have done that. He would have ignored your presence entirely. Maybe you have made some progress. Gotten closer to him. Close enough for him to feel comfortable stealing your coffee and drinking after you. The conversation is still going on beside you and Karkat continues to complain to Gamzee and tries to nudge him in the direction of the cafeteria. Gamzee finally agrees and moves to take the handles of Tav’s chair.

Karkat turns back to you and opens his mouth but no words come out as his eyes fall onto your taken hand. He snaps his mouth shut and shoves the coffee back into your free hand. He almost looks angry and when he speaks there’s more snap to his voice than there previously was.

“Your taste in coffee is just as disgusting as the rest of you.” He shoves his hands into his coat pockets and scrunches his face into a grimace. With one more glance to your conjoined hands, he follows after Gamzee and Tavros.

“Fuck.” You sigh out.

“What happened? Things were going so well.” Aradia seems more disappointed than you are.

“I think it was this.” You say, holding your hands up. “After all, he thinks you’re one of my fuck buddies.”

“But we’re just holding hands. That could mean anything. For all he knows our hands were cold and we were keeping them warm.”

“He looked angry though, didn’t he?” You ask, smiling a little.

“He did. I thought you didn’t want to make him angry anymore though.”

“I don’t. But he wasn’t angry at me until he saw our hands. He was angry that we were holding hands, AA.”

“You think he was jealous?”

“I don’t know. Why else would that make him mad?”

“Well my dear, it looks like he might have feelings for you after all.”

You’re still a little upset that your first interaction after vowing not to make him angry anymore, you unintentionally made him angry. But it’s a good thing. It’s good that he got mad from seeing you holding hands with another. It means something. It means that on some level he cares about you. On some level he wanted that to be his hand you were holding. And that’s pretty great.

You depart from Aradia and head back to your room while sipping from your coffee. All the while knowing you’re drinking from the same cup his lips had touched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that was pretty short compared to past chapters but this chapter was never originally planned. It’s just something that happened. Sorry it wasn’t very good. The next chapter will be longer and I’m really excited to write it! I appear to be out of my writing slump so hopefully it won’t take me nearly as long to write the next chapter. Thank you guys so much for your continued support.
> 
> Edit: Hey guys, I had chapter eight almost completed when my mom's dog knocked over my laptop and broke it. There's something wrong with the hard drive and I have no idea if I'm going to get all of those files back until someone from Dell takes a look at it. As I'm sure you can imagine, I'm really not in the mood to restart the chapter right now. Hopefully I'll find out this week but until then please keep track of the "crossing wires fic" tag on tumblr or check my tumblr (melancholymisfit) for updates if you're interested in them!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After mourning the loss of the original file and struggling to start it again, I finally bring you chapter eight. It only took me six months. Thanks for waiting.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you don’t know what to think about your roommate anymore. Your relationship has always been one in which you argue and bicker. Lately, things have completely changed. He’s been too nice. It’s off putting. He pulled out a chair for you in the library on Monday and yesterday he’d brought you a cupcake from an off campus bakery he’d visited with friends. You’d questioned his motives and accused him of tampering with the cupcake in some way and he’d just laughed, shrugged and said, “I just thought you’d enjoy it.”

When you teased him on Sunday for having painted nailed he'd smiled and said nothing back. You wonder if it has something to do with Aradia. On Saturday you'd caught them holding hands. You knew they were friends before but you didn't realize they were into each other. If they really are. You don't actually have any proof. You just kind of assumed. But why else would they be holding hands? You've known Kanaya forever and you wouldn't hold her hand while walking around campus.

That brings you right back to the same thought you've been having for weeks. Why do you even care? Maybe you're just worried that you'll lose your dorm again. If he's seeing someone they will be hanging around and you will be coming home to socks on the door again. That's it. That's the only reason you care, right? There's a part of you that knows that's total bullshit but you aren't quite ready to explore that area just yet.

He's just sitting there on his bed snacking on chips and typing on his laptop same as always but you just can't look away from him. He looks the same but for some reason he seems different to you. Not just the way he's treating you. Everything about him seems different and it's just making it a hundred times weirder to be around him. You don't know what to say to him anymore. You can't even ask him for help with homework. The dorm has been exceptionally quiet lately. You're sure your neighbors wouldn't complain but it's left you feeling awkward every waking moment you're there.

There's a knock at the door and you're momentarily distracted from him and from annoying and unwanted thoughts. You get up and open the door to a smiling Aradia.

"Hello Karkat." She greets and you nod back at her.

You sit in your desk chair and try not to watch as she practically hops across the room to where Sollux is still sitting on his bed. He sets his laptop aside and she takes a seat next to him. You're suddenly wondering if you should leave. No, this is your dorm room too. They can go somewhere else if they don't want you there.

"You seem happy." He says.

She clasps his hand with both of hers and grins. "I'm extremely happy actually."

"What happened?"

"I decided to take a plunge and ask Feferi out and she said yes."

Wait, what?

"That's great, AA. How does the boyfriend feel about this though?"

"I just came from talking to him. It's a little ironic, isn't it? He wanted to date a cheerleader and yet I'm the one who snagged the captain of the team." She sighs happily and finally releases his hand. "I told him that I don't want to be a cheerleader and I wouldn't become one just to appease his stereotype. He wasn't too happy about that but what can you do? I told him that I was going to be seeing Feferi now and believe it or not that made him happy."

"What's to be happy about? He was basically just dumped."

"That's what I said. Apparently he views it as being wrong that he's interested in a girl who isn't a cheerleader, which I guess we already knew. But the fact that the non-cheerleader or football player is now dating the cheerleader is even more wrong and I guess he gets off on that."

"So you didn't dump him?"

"Not exactly. Technically I'm not seeing either of them. They both know about the other so now I just have to decide who I want to be with."

"Why is Equius even in the running?" You find yourself unintentionally butting into their conversation.

They both turn to look at you and she doesn't miss a beat answering your question.

"There's just something about him. I can't stand him and his macho tough guy routine but the way he gets flustered when I tell him no is kind of addicting."

Sollux is still looking at you and you barely heard what Aradia just said. It's distracting. You're looking at her but you can see his eyes in the background looking right at you. When Aradia turns back to him he finally looks away and you let out a little sigh of relief and relax a bit more.

"I'm definitely leaning towards Feferi right now. I've always been drawn to the ladies more so than men."

"Well, good luck with your decision making. Make sure you tell RX about it. She lives for meddling in others love lives."

"Don't I know it. I'm headed over to her dorm next. Want to meet us for lunch after?"

He looks at you again and you swivel in your chair until your back is to him. Why does he have to look at you before making a decision? It's not like you have a say in what he does. Why should you even care? It's quiet for a long moment before he finally answers her.

"Yea, I'll meet you guys there."

"Great." She gets up to leave but stops next to your chair. "You're welcome to come too, Karkat."

"Uh, maybe." You mumble as she walks out the door.

You don't know why you said maybe. You don't intend to go but all you can focus on right now is how fast your heart is beating. So he isn't dating her then. You're a little too relieved about that but you refuse to face the reason why. You don't want to even think about the possibilities. Yet here you are, staring at the blank page of your notebook feeling very nearly elated that they aren't together but also wondering, just who is RX?

==>

Sollux extended the invitation one more time before he left but you said no. You told him you have a lot of homework to get done. He’d said ok and left without another world. You need a distraction so you venture to the senior building in search of Gamzee. You don't want to think about things that might make you admit your feelings to yourself. You're not ready for that yet. Gamzee should be an adequate distraction for at least a few hours.

His door is unlocked when you get there but you still knock. You hear faint conversation on the other end and you wonder if he's talking to himself. He's been doing better since he started spending time with Tavros. He didn't quit using but he was getting out of his dorm and doing other things.

You open the door without another moment's hesitation but you don't find Gamzee talking to himself. In the corner his small TV is playing a movie, the source of the noise. Gamzee is on his bed with Tavros sitting across his lap and attached to his lips.

"Um." You say, unable to say anything more.

They pull apart and Gamzee smiles lazily at you. "Hey brother, did you motherfucking need something?" He asks.

"I came to see if you're busy and you obviously are so I'll leave."

"Nah, I've got some time." He says.

Tav's cheeks are pink with embarrassment and he can't manage to look you in the eye. You hadn't realized their relationship had become like this. Not that it's a bad thing. You're glad that Tavros decided to give him a chance and that things appear to be going so well but you thought they were just friends. Maybe they are just friends. Kissing doesn't mean dating, right?

"I'll just see you later." You say, exiting the room and closing the door behind you.

Well, there goes your distraction plan. Though they did give you something else to briefly think about but your mind is right back on Sollux. Things would be so much easier if Jade had just been single. If you could have dated her then you wouldn't be faced with these feelings you don't dare think about.

You decide a walk in the cold is the next best thing to distract you so you brace yourself and go out into the harsh wind. You're close to the freshman building when you hear your name being called. When you look up from your feet you find Jade running toward you. You haven't seen her since the last meeting and it's nice to see her face.

"Hey Karkat!" She says as she approaches.

"Hey." You respond, clearing your throat.

"What are you up to?"

"Just out for a walk."

"Mind if I join?"

"Uh, no. That's fine."

All other thoughts are out of your mind the moment she falls into step beside you. She has a bright green scarf wrapped around her neck that's nearly blinding against her white coat. The colors make her already dark skin look just a bit darker and her green eyes stand out. You never thought someone could look so pretty in winter gear.

"So, how are things?" She asks, glancing at you.

"Fine."

"Just fine? Come on, there's got to be something going on with you."

You really don't want to talk about the thing she's meant to be distracting you from so you lie. "I've been too distracted trying to decide on a gift for John to pay attention to much else."

"Yea he's not the easiest person to shop for. Do you buy him lame movie paraphernalia or hit up a gag shop for some new pranks? On the one hand, he'll never shut up about the movie gear; on the other he'll most likely pull pranks on the gift giver."

"Well, that's John for you. A total jackass obsessed with crappy movies and childish pranks."

She chuckles and you let the sound warm you. You haven't thought about her much lately since every thought just brings more pain. It would start out fine and then Dave invades your happy fantasies with his stupid sunglasses and ugly smirk. You don't know what she sees in him.

"What about you?" You ask. "Anything new?"

She sighs. "Not really."

"If I couldn't get away with 'fine', there's no way in hell you're getting away with 'not really'."

"Ok, ok. I don't know, I've been fighting with Dave and that's taken up a great deal of my time."

"Oh? I thought things were good with Mr. Perfect."

"They were but he's just, ugh, he's so frustrating! He's mad because I didn't ask him to be on the robotics team. I told him that I didn't think he'd be interested but he thinks I asked you because I like you or something. That's crazy, right?"

"Yea. Crazy." Why would she say that? What's so crazy about liking you more than that tool?

"He really doesn't have anything against you, he just gets jealous easily. I just know that if I'd asked him to join, he would have said no and then he'd _still_ get jealous when I asked you instead. Things will probably be ok after this season ends."

"I hope so." Of course she doesn't know that's a lie.

"If not maybe I'll just prove him right."

Prove him right? As in, date you? You think you should be happy hearing that but you're not. For starters, you wouldn't want her to date you just to spite Dave. The strange thing is, the thought of dating her regardless of circumstance doesn't make you happy. You've had a crush on Jade for the longest time, so why wouldn't that make you happy? You try to imagine really dating her but you just can't. When did that happen? You used to think about it several times a day and now there's nothing there but, and you really hate to even think this, Sollux.

You shake that thought away. Not Sollux. Anyone but Sollux. If things don't work out with Jade and Dave then you'll happily become hers. Jade is the one you've thought about for more than a year. Sollux is just a temporary annoyance and nothing more.

==>

Thursday comes and you're extremely happy to be getting off campus for a while. There are no classes today due to upgrades being made on the heating system to accommodate the cold weather. You're exhausted from keeping yourself distracted and your arm is bruised from where you'd pinch yourself whenever he crept into your thoughts. Shopping for food and party supplies should take your mind off of everything else for a few hours. You’re going to set up tomorrow so you won’t be faced with anyone who lisps until later that night as well. You’re a little relieved. Last night had been a little awkward when you got back to your dorm but you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who thought so.

When you get out into the parking lot Rose is waiting in her car. She waves as you approach. It’s a slick deep purple that looks almost black and there’s a little skull decal in the back window. The inside of the car beckons with the warmth of the vent. When you sit down you're pleasantly surprised to find her seats are heated. Screw your dorm, you'd rather just live in Rose's car this winter. You buckle your seatbelt and all but melt into the warm seat beneath you.

“Good morning, Karkat.” She says as she pulls out of the parking lot.

“Morning.”

“There’s a Meijer close to campus. I thought we could stop there first. They should have everything we need. If not there’s a Party City just a little farther away.”

“Sounds good.” You’re never quite sure what to say to Rose. You don’t know her that well. Pretty much all you know is that she’s Dave’s and Dirk’s sister and she’s dating your best friend. You suppose you should have gotten to know her when she and Kanaya became a thing.

To distract yourself from the silence, you glance into the back of her car only to find an unexpected mess. Books, yarn, knitting needles, a violin out of its case, the case open on the floor, sheet music, and a stuffed black cat with four eyes instead of two. You definitely didn’t peg Rose as the messy type.

“You play the violin?” You ask, looking for anything to say to her.

“For several years now. I started taking lessons in elementary school. What about you? Do you play any instruments?”

“No. I never had much interest in music.” There was a time when you thought it would be cool to learn the guitar but you quit after only two lessons. It seemed like all the cool guys played guitar in a band and you wanted to be that cool guy but the strings hurt your fingers and you realized that girls were more interested in the lead singer.

The car is silent again until she turned on the radio and some classical song quietly fills the space. You want to say more but what do you say to a girl like Rose? You’re fairly certain the only thing you have in common is your relationships with Kanaya and you can’t just spend the day talking about her. But you need some kind of distraction because now you’re remembering riding in Sollux’s car the night you went to the diner and how comfortable it had felt. Rose’s car looks brand news, has a working heater that doesn’t rattle and doors that actually open without a fight. It’s warm and the seats are soft and without duct tape and yet, Sollux’s car had felt like home. Maybe because you were used to his mess and his smells and Rose smelled like lavender, not honey. Maybe because deep down you know that the warm feeling in your belly isn’t from the vehicle you’re sitting in, it’s from Sollux.

You snap out of your thoughts that you aren’t supposed to be thinking when Rose parks the car in a space near the entrance to the store. You step out into the cold as she turns off the car and gathers her bag. She’s brought a list with her and it’s a pretty long one. Vriska must have made it. On the one hand you want this to go quickly so you’re free of this awkward situation, on the other you don’t want to go back to your dorm until you’re ready to sleep. Hanging out with Gamzee probably isn’t an option since he seems to have been surgically attached to Tavros’s lips. So the only option is to drag out this trip with Rose.

You push the cart and follow her down the aisles as she reads off the list and puts things in the cart. You’re only half listening to her. You’re feeling a little sick, a little tired, a lot stressed. Focusing has become difficult since he’s started inserting himself into every single thought you have.

“I know his favorite color is blue but the color of the Solo cups shouldn’t matter, right?” Rose asks but you don’t hear her. “Karkat?”

You look up at her then. She’s holding two packages of cups and staring at you with that look Kanaya usually gives you. Concern.

“Sorry, what?”

“Are you feeling ok?”

“Yea. I’m fine.”

“Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

“No, I’m...” You trail off and remember what Kanaya once told you. Rose is a greater listener and works her own special brand of magic when it comes to helping others through difficult situations. She’s supposed to be distracting you but maybe talking to her couldn’t hurt. “I’m just trying to figure out some confusing feelings.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“That depends. Are you going to get drunk at this party and blab everything to our friends?”

“Of course not. Therapist’s honor.” She smiles and for some reason you feel like you can trust her. Or maybe you just really want to talk about this and Rose is the safest person to confess to right now.

You take a deep breath and try to decide where you should even begin. “I’ve had a kind of crush on Jade for a while now.”

“Yes, Kanaya told me.”

“Of course she did. I haven’t been able to do anything about it because she’s dating Dave. I used to think about her on a daily basis nonstop 24/7. I’d daydream about spending time with her and I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing her face. But lately, all of that has stopped. I barely think about her.”

“Because you like someone else?”

“No!” this answer is a habit but you’re too tired to lie. “Maybe.”

“Karkat, do you like Sollux?”

You’ve been asked this question several times and you’ve always answered with anger and nasty words about the other boy. But when she asks all you can say is, “probably.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“Of course it is! He’s a jerk who gets off on making me angry and fucks everyone he knows. I can’t tell you how many times I’d come home to socks on the door because he had someone in his bed.”

“Does that still happen?”

“No. Not for a while.”

“When did it stop?” You two began walking again as you talked, Rose still going over the list.

“Right after the night we all drank in the common area.”

“Ah, yes I was told about Vriska’s plans to push you two together.”

“Yea well, I don’t remember much from that night. Just that we may have kissed.”

“May have?”

“He says I was probably dreaming but it felt so real. I can still remember the way it felt when he…when it happened.” You can’t look at her as you feel your cheeks warming.

“Did you try asking him again? Demand the truth, maybe?”

“I haven’t wanted to face the truth.”

“And now?”

You let out a long sigh and stare down at the cart full of snacks and plastic wear.

“I guess I could ask him again. Find out for sure.”

“Do you think the answer will change anything? If it was just a dream then that means you dreamt of kissing him.”

Well Kanaya was right about one thing, she’s making you face things you were trying to avoid. And now that it’s all laid out in front of you, you don’t really want to ignore it anymore. You’re suddenly feeling very light weight, not all weighed down with thoughts about maybe I do, maybe I don’t.

“I think I like Sollux.” You say only loud enough for Rose to hear.

She smiles and rests her hand on your shoulder, massaging circles with her thumb. “Come on, let’s finish the shopping. I’ll treat you to some coffee afterward.”

You started the day wanting to forget, now you want to blindly charge forward and hope for the best.

==>

Rose had kept her promise and taken you to a café after you’d finished all the shopping. You’d found a secluded table and continued your conversation about your strange relationships. She told you a bit about the problems she and Kanaya faced. Apparently there was a while there when Rose was drinking too much and it nearly ended their relationship. Kanaya never told you about that and you’re left feeling like a bad friend for not realizing she was going through something like that. Not that Kanaya lets you see her sad. Angry yes, but not sad.

Afterward you went to her place and helped her carry the supplies inside. Dirk had called for Dave to come help but he’d never emerged from his room. You wouldn’t have known he was there if not for the thumping music vibrating down the stairs. Apparently he’s sulking because of his fight with Jade. You can’t help feeling a little happy about that. He’s not exactly your favorite person at the moment.

After everything was safely put away they insisted on feeding you before sending you on your way. You spent about an hour talking to Dirk about the qualifying match, which was fast approaching. Tomorrow would be your last meeting before the match and they’d gotten a lot more done on the robot. They were still arguing about a name for it. When it started to get late you said goodbye to Dirk and Rose drove you back to the school.

She pulled up to the curb in the parking lot outside the cafeteria. You wonder if you should stop in and look for him there only to remember that he never eats unless you pester him about it. You’re nervous to say the least. For all you know everything could change tonight. Now that you’re actually acknowledging that you may have feelings beyond hate for Sollux your relationship could become something more than roommates and occasional friends.

“Are you going to be ok?” She asks.

“I think so. I’m just asking him a question I’ve asked before. Why wouldn’t I be ok?”

“You can call me afterward if you need to.”

You nod and get out of the car, saying a quick goodbye before trekking through the cold toward the junior dorm building. You’re going to do this. You’re going to ask him about the kiss one more time and you’re going to demand the truth. You need to know if you kissed him or if you just dreamt the feeling of his hands in your hair. The closer you get to your room the more ready you feel but when you’re actually standing there facing him your determination falters. Once he's there in front of you, you suddenly feel self conscious. You start to realize what this really is. You’ve known since you brought it up this afternoon that no matter what he says you intend to make your feelings known.

Deep breath. No going back now. Worst comes to worst, you ask for a new room assignment and dig a nice little hole in the ground to hide in for the rest of your life.

"Sollux." You say, or you think you say. You're not really sure. You can't really hear anything over the sound of your own heart beating in your ears.

"Yea?" He says, barely looking up from his laptop.

"Can you give your stupid coding a rest for two damn seconds?" You gripe.

He looks up at you this time and pushes back from his desk turning in his chair to look at you. His eyebrows are raised up over the tops of his glasses and he looks ready for one of your usual conversations about how messy the room is or how stupid he is.

"Alright, what's up?" He asks, looking relaxed and not at all nervous and man do you hate him for that.

"Did we kiss?" The question just kind of spills out of your mouth. It’s not the first time you’ve asked but it’s still difficult this time.

"What are you talking about?"

You kind of want to sigh and cross your arms and stomp your foot because he’s playing stupid again. Pretending like he doesn’t remember and you’ve really had enough. You need this to be over with.

"The night that Vriska was trying to get me drunk. Did we kiss?" You ask again.

"I don't really remember a lot from that night."

"Bullshit. Tell me the truth."

He sighs and looks over his shoulder at his computer screen. You can see a flashing window at the bottom of the screen. You’re sure it’s a chat window and you wonder who he’s talking to.

"Yea, ok. We did."

Well there is it.

"Who initiated it?"

"You did."

"Why?"

"Because I told you that I..."

"That you what?"

He pauses for a beat and runs his fingers through his already messy hair. He’s not looking at you and now he looks like you feel. Somehow you’ve evened the playing field.

"That I like you."

And now it feels like the oxygen was sucked right out of your lungs and everything seems surreal. Maybe this is a dream. There’s no possible parallel universe where you can imagine Sollux Captor confessing, apparently for the second time, that he likes you.

"Do you still?"

"Yea."

Ok well there it is. Sollux likes you. And you like Sollux. And he’s staring at his shoes while he ignores the chimes from the messenger on his computer. You don’t know what to say now. Do you tell him you like him too? You kind of want to run away. Run straight to Kanaya and tell her everything. Maybe she can figure things out for you. She can tell Sollux all about your feelings so that you don’t have to. But of course she wouldn’t. She’d tell you to suck it up and face him. Like you are right now.

You're not sure what pushes you forward, instinct, desperation, relief, but the next thing you know your hands are on his cheeks and your lips are pressed to his. Suddenly you wonder how you had ever questioned whether or not the kiss was real. He doesn't react and for a second you worry this is all a joke. Maybe he was just messing with you and now that you’re kissing him he doesn’t know what to do. You want to pull away but then his hand is on your hip and the other is on the back of your neck holding you in place. He tugs you down and forward so that you nearly fall into him before you catch yourself on his shoulders.

He breaks the kiss and stares at you. The look on his face is unreadable and you feel yourself holding your breath though you're really not meaning to. He looks confused, maybe a little panicked. He’s searching your face for some kind of answer all the while his fingers are rubbing the back of your neck. It’s like he’s not sure you’re real and if he stops touching you you’ll disappear.

"What are you doing, KK?" He finally asks.

"I thought that was pretty obvious, or haven't you been kissed before?"

He rolls his eyes. "Are you looking for sympathy or are you returning my feelings?"

All this time you’d been questioning his motives it didn’t even occur to you that he might be facing some of his own doubts about you. You mentally kick yourself for ignoring everything for so long instead of just growing the fuck up and talking to him. Maybe then you would have been in this position weeks ago instead of slowly suffering until you got to this point.

"Do I really have to say it? Do we really have to have a bullshit feelings jam right now when we could be making out instead?"

“Yes. We do.”

You sigh and pull away from him completely finding that sitting on your bed is much more comfortable than leaning over him. He stares at you from across the room and everything feels awkward again. You definitely weren’t planning to just grab him and kiss him. That buzz of adrenaline is still tingling through you and all you want to do it hide and maybe kiss him again.

“So which is it?” He asks.

“I’m not like you. I don’t just kiss anyone because I feel like it.”

“Then you like me.”

“I guess so.”

You focus your gaze on a stain on the carpet and fidget with the blanket beneath your fingers. He’s not speaking and you have no idea what else to say to him. Do you like him? Yes. Do you know what that means for your relationship? Absolutely not. Just because he likes you doesn’t mean he wants to date you, right? You don’t even really know if you want to date him. Right now you just want to be close to him and to stop talking about this. It’s making you anxious waiting for him to speak and to let you know what he’s thinking.

“I thought you didn’t want to get involved with someone like me.”

“I didn’t.”

“And now you do?”

“I had a change of heart. Is that so fucking hard to believe?”

He smiles and leans back in his chair. “So, what now? Are we supposed to start dating?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one who liked me first, you tell me.”

He stands, crosses the room and pulls you to your feet by the collar of your shirt. You have to stand on your toes in order to stand face to face with him. He plants a light kiss on your lips then presses his nose to yours.

“If you leave it up to me, then I’ll choose to monopolize your time and make you mine and mine alone. I’ve waited long enough to have you in my arms, I don’t intend to let go anytime soon. Do you think you can handle that?”

Your throat has run dry. You swallow to try to relieve the feeling but it doesn’t help. He’s waiting for your answer so place your hand behind his neck, pull him closer and kiss him. He releases the front of your shirt and instead presses his hands to the center of your back until your chest is pressed against his. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and think that this is exactly where you’re meant to be. You mentally kick yourself for waiting so long to just admit that you felt something and let this happen. If you had known how good it felt to be in his arms, his lips sliding against yours, you would have done this long ago.

“I can if you can.” You breathe against his lips. He smiles and brings your mouth to his again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s nice to finally write them making out sober. Prepare for the fluffy SolKat coming your way in the next chapter. Sorry if their finally getting together was disappointing. I had a difficult time finishing this chapter. The next bit should be much less awkward now that they’ve basically established that, yea, this is going to be a thing. Let’s see if it takes me less than six months this time, yea?


End file.
